Inspiration from Terrible

Ok - so I got SUCKED in to The Bachelorette a couple of weeks ago - the week BEFORE the hometown visits. No, the week of the hometown visits. Anyway, the chick was SO into Graham(?), and so NOT into the others, it was ridiculous. There was no way she was picking, "My parents died when I was young, I cried at Dodgers stadium and now I'm an open book" OR "I'm hot and nice but I already have a kid whose mother dumped me".

She was REALLY into "I'm hot but I can't open up" who turned into "I'm hot but I can't open up until you dump me and I give you a letter that tells you how I feel". As with HK, that episode turned out to be the best, because who really gave a shit after that? And how could they never tell us what the letter said - or did they? And why wasn't he on "After the final Rose???" We knew she was going to pick "I snowboard, wore some weird pink outfit on day one and am SO DIFFERENT from every guy Deanna has ever dated including Jason and Jeremy". And her choice seemed very right after Jeremy went psycho and then trailed them to the Bahamas for some bizarre final plea which I didn't see.

I do have to say, though, that Jason sort of won me over and I will be SHOCKED if he is not the next bachelor. And if he isn't, it is SO because he has a kid. He is hot and took the dumping so graciously (after getting down on a knee and being picked back up) and he kept wishing Deanna and surfer-dude the best blah blah blah. Plus, his heart has been re-opened... I love these reality shows.

As for HK, I was pretty disappointed in the finale but could I have been more right about Christina (who looks an awful lot like our Christina) winning? First of all, he needed to pick a young and GoRam would NEVER pick a short, fat, sloppy old guy, no matter how good of a cook he is. I do have to give some credit to Petrozza for picking Jen over Matt - it was VERY mature. Jen may be a selfish bitch (loved when she asked GoRam for a reference) but she is not a PSYCHO. Matt is absolutely ridiculous and the fact that Tina completed a service with him as a team member is very impressive. I LOVED how she manipulated him with the risotto bit. He totally went for it.

I'm not so sure GoRam will be siked when he realizes that Tina was only working hard for the HK episodes and plans to skate by at "London". Something tells me the expectations will be high. I am so bummed that the show is over, though. At least I can look forward to Kitchen Nightmares. I LOVE these British opinionated assholes who are really softies underneath. Did you see GoRam give Petrozza a big hug behind the locked door while Christina was out celebrating with her "troubled mother"?

Terrible - I can't believe you were sharing photo booth pics with Susan Fine and the other honest old Jews at the shower. And True92 - TRUE that I was talking about you. Do you remember your comment about somebody's mother at the shower? Something to the effect of,
"Has she stopped eating since the last time I saw her??" POLITE. She was a damn good photographer, I must say...

Hell

I am SO disappointed in the HK "finale" which wasn't even the finale. For crying out loud - is it THAT much of a cliffhanger as to whether Petrozza chooses Matt or Jen as his last team member? Am I mistaken or did last season's HK finale have a bitter black chick who was trying to sabotage one of the finalists?

Christina has gotten WAY too big for her britches. She hates the stripes, has the challenge "in the bag", blah blah blah. I realize TV is trying to make her look bad since she does have the HK competition "in the bag" but still, she IS saying this stuff. And the executive chef/tasters were ridiculous! Seasoning sucks, meat isn't cooked right, risotto is too chewy...I pick, hard choice, Petrozza. The fact that I know how to spell Petrozza is ridiculous. And how is it even remotely acceptable that GoRam isn't a judge??

Anyway, the reward for winning the challenge sucked. Of course Petrozza is going to pick "The General" and of course Christina is going to pick Corey. Am I mistaken or did Christina and Corey HATE each other in the beginning. Now they're all about teamwork and beating Petrozza. It just has a feeling of unreality, doesn't it? And what about the 9 hour recap in the beginning of EVERY SINGLE EPISODE? Ridiculous.

I'm pissed but of course, I will watch finale, part 2, next week... Hopefully, it is more entertaining than part 1.

Rekindling the Blog

Ok - so I got a lot of flack for shoddy blogging and here I am. Luckily, I have a LOT of material after my bridal shower AND a new episode of Hell's Kitchen.

Bridal showers are RIDICULOUS. A bunch of women pigging out while gaping at the bride (or in this case, brides) as they open gifts. Granted - it's great to be the bride but also a lot of pressure. I learned this weekend that a "commitment shower", which is what we GAYS have, is less pressure on the bride because there are two of us. I learned that alcohol helps quite a lot to get through the shower. And I learned that being watched is much more difficult when you don't have a Powerpoint presentation to hide behind.

I also learned that "wedding Christmas" is awesome. You are never too old to open gifts. NEVER. And, even though we registered for the gifts, we still LOVED opening every one of them.

The best comment at the shower and I SWEAR this is true. One of the "ladies" said to me, "I just farted in somebody's face." My mouth dropped open as I replied, "On purpose?" No, she replied, "It just slipped out." I asked, "Did she know??" "Yes...I said excuse me." I LOVE IT.

Ok - we also had a lot of fun writing some thank you notes. Just a few...

"Thank you so much for the wooden bowl we DIDN'T register for. Oh wait - it's a cheaper version of the one we wanted. Thanks!!"

"Thank you for coming to celebrate with us. I haven't seen you in a while - you look like shit!!" (polite)

"Thank you so much for the wonderful gift. How much did you shrink since the last time I saw you?"

POLITE.