Ok - so I didn't really catch much (I just spelled it MUTCH, spelt it Mutch) of BL last night, but I saw enough to happily see Lance get voted off and to watch Michael cry. How the heck did that skinny dark-hair chick lose 9 lbs? I love when the black team wins....every year. I am SO glad Lance is gone - he is just the worst (other than his wife), and I am REALLY tired of watching Michael cry. So, I heard a headline that read, "BL Trainer dates a formerly straight star" (or something like that). I immediately thought Michael and Bob were dating but NO! Alas! It's Jillian and the mother of David Silver's baby!!! I love it - GO JILLIAN!!
I'm really not sure (shure) how I feel about Ricardo and the devil and hell - and I am really starting to hate John Locke or black smoke or whatever it is - which I guess means they are doing a good job with making him a villain. I was very upset about the "situation" on the boat with the murders and such and I kind of LOVE the way Hurley can talk to dead people, even if they are long-dead Spaniards (Mexicans? Cubans? Argentinians?) headed for the New World. How long do you think it took for Hurly to learn those few Spanish words? Am I accusing him of being stupid just because he is maintaining that weight on the island or is it because he says DUUUUDE all of the time?
We now refer to AI as "Bowersox". Instead of, "Hey - do you want to watch this week's AI?", we say, "Hey! Let's watch Bowersox". And, I have actually considered saving the recorded AI just so I can go back and watch Bowersox at my leisure (LEZ-jer for the British). The only other time I considered such a thing was when Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert did the duet - Slow Ride - LOVED IT. I cannot believe Tim Urban manages to keep holding on - he is terrible! He really does need to get picked up by the CW for some teeny-bopper show instead of polluting the AI stage with his terrible voice and horrific dancing. Siobhan looks like she smells - especially in black jeans.
OMG - I am absolutely beside myself when it comes to Survivor - HOW STUPID IS TYSON??? What a fucking moron! I can't believe - Bawston Rawb had a foolproof plan for screwing over Russell and Tyson is an IDIOT. I can't even talk about it. And, while I understand the move to vote off James, the truth is that he was kicking Colby's ass all over the island on one leg. And I hate the skinny thing on Tyson's team. But she's not as dumb as Tyson - why would you do anything but listen to RAWB when you are on his team???
Dammit - now I'm upset.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Why do the heroes suck???
I don't get it. Is it just because Bawston Rawb is not on their team? It celarly was NOT Cirie's fault. I guess we'll see if it was Tawm's fault but, as much as I hate to admit it, I think maybe the pahk the cahs are great at Surviv-UH. I'm not sure why they voted out Tawm when Colby is clearly the weakest team member (including all women and Rupert with a broken toe). I will also say that James the Gravedigger is about 3 billion times stronger than any member of that team, even on one leg. Hell - he has that 3rd leg (aka "the package") to make up for the knee injury. Was Survivor always such a violent game?
I really want to see the villains get villainous, and I think they will have to go to tribal council in order to be a little evil. Who gets evil when they are winning all of the time? The only way they are going to TC is if Bawston Rawb decides to throw the challenge so he can vote off Russell. And I didn't understand why Russell was the BEST surviv-UH play-UH ev-UH until I witnessed his strategy of giving Coach the hidden immunity idol. Of course, Coach is too much of a weanie (yep, that word again) to turn on Russell after getting the idol, which is just an example of Russell's genius! But...Russell is missing a tooth - maybe I DO need to become a lover of the toothless!
I do believe that the heroes are going to lose again next week - they keep showing Rawb threatening to squash Russell for looking for the immunity idol on his own, but he can't vote him out of they never lose and as long as they are doing puzzle challenges, the heroes don't stand a chance! My theory is that as long as they keep showing the strategy of the villians in the previews, it is a sign that the heroes are going to lose...again.
One thing Tom said which was just about the most accurate thing I have ever heard from the mouth of a Surviv-UH. He referred to James as the perfect teammate (not quite how he put it, but that's what I think). He is the strongest, dumbest, (best body) Surviv-UH play-UH the game has ever seen! It's perfect - he helps them win the challenges (as long as they aren't puzzles) and he is so dumb he just does what he is told when it comes to voting...the perfect teammate! The perfect alliance partner! Imagine a partnership between Russell and James?
Tyson and the skinny blonde chick have GOT to go. And I believe she made some sort of bizarre comment about watching her weight which was NOT funny to anybody, anywhere.
Jeff Probst is hot.
I really want to see the villains get villainous, and I think they will have to go to tribal council in order to be a little evil. Who gets evil when they are winning all of the time? The only way they are going to TC is if Bawston Rawb decides to throw the challenge so he can vote off Russell. And I didn't understand why Russell was the BEST surviv-UH play-UH ev-UH until I witnessed his strategy of giving Coach the hidden immunity idol. Of course, Coach is too much of a weanie (yep, that word again) to turn on Russell after getting the idol, which is just an example of Russell's genius! But...Russell is missing a tooth - maybe I DO need to become a lover of the toothless!
I do believe that the heroes are going to lose again next week - they keep showing Rawb threatening to squash Russell for looking for the immunity idol on his own, but he can't vote him out of they never lose and as long as they are doing puzzle challenges, the heroes don't stand a chance! My theory is that as long as they keep showing the strategy of the villians in the previews, it is a sign that the heroes are going to lose...again.
One thing Tom said which was just about the most accurate thing I have ever heard from the mouth of a Surviv-UH. He referred to James as the perfect teammate (not quite how he put it, but that's what I think). He is the strongest, dumbest, (best body) Surviv-UH play-UH the game has ever seen! It's perfect - he helps them win the challenges (as long as they aren't puzzles) and he is so dumb he just does what he is told when it comes to voting...the perfect teammate! The perfect alliance partner! Imagine a partnership between Russell and James?
Tyson and the skinny blonde chick have GOT to go. And I believe she made some sort of bizarre comment about watching her weight which was NOT funny to anybody, anywhere.
Jeff Probst is hot.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
I would never turn down a request...
Of course I watch Lost!! I had fallen behind and caught up by watching 2 episodes last weekend and then the 3rd online, which was PAINFUL. The Black Smoke just isn't the same on a laptop, not in HD.
SO...what can I say about Lost? One reason I am not a big fan - it's too much thinking for me. I use my brain way too much at work to have to use it to watch TV. I prefer bimbos throwing themselves at a "too-goodlooking" dude, teenagers belting out tunes, fat people trying to lose weight with their trainer climbing all over the treadmill and, well, cooking shows. I also think that Charlie (known as Jack on Lost but will always be PO5 Charlie to me) looks scabby these days. Speaking of PO5, did anyone notice that the giant black dude on AI sang the song that was playing when Love-Hewitt was lying in the hospital bed and Bailey (mini-Tom Cruise, not my dog) skulked into her room to say, "My name is Bailey, and I am an alcoholic. And you, JLH, have a big ass!"? It was slightly ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as the crying by Kara... Or the crying by NOT Adam Lambart's brother when he didn't make the top twelve.
ANYWAY...Claire scares me. She was ok with being in the pit!! And Kate annoys me. I much prefer the blonde whose name I can never remember but who looks like the lesbian on Grey's Anatomy. Arizona! That's her name!! Oh wait - that's the name of the chick on Grey's. What is the name of Sawyer's girlfriend? And I'm pissed because normally, I would be into the guy who is NOT Sawyer, but in the case of Lost, NOT Sawyer is Jack and Jack is scabby!
I don't like the black smoke. It reminds me of Ghost, when Willie Lopez was killed by Swayze the Ghost and then the black smoke came up through the grates and dragged him down to hell. And then a lovely white light came and got Swayze, but not until he shared one last illuminated kiss with Demi Moore. Did Lost steal the black smoke from Ghost? That is just not acceptable. And I know it is a TV show, but Hurly could not maintain that weight on a deserted island!! Heck - even John Locke could not maintain that weight. Dead OR alive...
I refuse to talk about Ben's eyes. Except I just did. And do you think the reason that the Asian dude became a bigger character is because he looks EXACTLY like Jon Gosselin? Who wants to see Jon minus Kate and eight on Lost??
SO...what can I say about Lost? One reason I am not a big fan - it's too much thinking for me. I use my brain way too much at work to have to use it to watch TV. I prefer bimbos throwing themselves at a "too-goodlooking" dude, teenagers belting out tunes, fat people trying to lose weight with their trainer climbing all over the treadmill and, well, cooking shows. I also think that Charlie (known as Jack on Lost but will always be PO5 Charlie to me) looks scabby these days. Speaking of PO5, did anyone notice that the giant black dude on AI sang the song that was playing when Love-Hewitt was lying in the hospital bed and Bailey (mini-Tom Cruise, not my dog) skulked into her room to say, "My name is Bailey, and I am an alcoholic. And you, JLH, have a big ass!"? It was slightly ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as the crying by Kara... Or the crying by NOT Adam Lambart's brother when he didn't make the top twelve.
ANYWAY...Claire scares me. She was ok with being in the pit!! And Kate annoys me. I much prefer the blonde whose name I can never remember but who looks like the lesbian on Grey's Anatomy. Arizona! That's her name!! Oh wait - that's the name of the chick on Grey's. What is the name of Sawyer's girlfriend? And I'm pissed because normally, I would be into the guy who is NOT Sawyer, but in the case of Lost, NOT Sawyer is Jack and Jack is scabby!
I don't like the black smoke. It reminds me of Ghost, when Willie Lopez was killed by Swayze the Ghost and then the black smoke came up through the grates and dragged him down to hell. And then a lovely white light came and got Swayze, but not until he shared one last illuminated kiss with Demi Moore. Did Lost steal the black smoke from Ghost? That is just not acceptable. And I know it is a TV show, but Hurly could not maintain that weight on a deserted island!! Heck - even John Locke could not maintain that weight. Dead OR alive...
I refuse to talk about Ben's eyes. Except I just did. And do you think the reason that the Asian dude became a bigger character is because he looks EXACTLY like Jon Gosselin? Who wants to see Jon minus Kate and eight on Lost??
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Picking a title for the "post" is the worst part
Ok - THANK GOD the moustache is gone!! I don't mean to be mean (but I'm not exactly trying to be nice) and I am not discriminating against the less attractive Idol contestants, as proven by my love of yellow-toothed AND toothLESS Bowersox. If you had seen the teeth before they were whitened by the Idol powers-that-be, you would understand why the yellow was so much bigger of a deal than the missing teeth.
But that little young thing, Hayley(?), has the biggest upper lip I have ever seen....EVER. It is so big it looks like she has a moustache. Add to that the TERRIBLE singing, and I am so glad she is gone... I was actually nervous she might stay (flashing back to Sanjaya), and was quite relieved to see her go. I am very glad John Parks is gone - I thought the Korean population would keep him around, but clearly his singing was bad enough to discourage even the Koreans from voting for him. I can't believe "I'm hot but I can't sing" is still hanging on. I kind of love that this season's version of Sanjaya is HOT.
But, let's talk about Survivor. I haven't been watching for a few years and I'm not sure why I stopped. I was sucked in by the commercials (probably during the Super Bowl) for Heroes vs. Villains and I am loving it. I have to admit, as much as Boston Rob's accent is aggravating, the guy is amazing. He is smaht and great at the challenges and he manages to be loved by his tribemates. I kind of love Russell and was bummed that they won a toolbox after he hid the hatchet from team. Russell, by the way, is missing a tooth or two of his own!
I don't understand why everyone thinks Pavarti (I think there is an H in there somewhere but I have no clue where) is so hot, and did anyone see the skinniest blonde EVER pathetically trying to make a basket after throwing herself pathetically down the slip-n-slide? She needs a damn bite to eat!
Why are there so many "pahk-the-cahs" on Survivor? On this one alone, we have Rob, Tawm, and Coach. I can't even talk about Coach - he is just too ridiculous. And why was everyone mad at James for pushing that old dude off of the sumo wrestling island? That was the game! What was he supposed to do - gently nudge him off? Puleeeeeeez.
Jeff Probst is still hot.
But that little young thing, Hayley(?), has the biggest upper lip I have ever seen....EVER. It is so big it looks like she has a moustache. Add to that the TERRIBLE singing, and I am so glad she is gone... I was actually nervous she might stay (flashing back to Sanjaya), and was quite relieved to see her go. I am very glad John Parks is gone - I thought the Korean population would keep him around, but clearly his singing was bad enough to discourage even the Koreans from voting for him. I can't believe "I'm hot but I can't sing" is still hanging on. I kind of love that this season's version of Sanjaya is HOT.
But, let's talk about Survivor. I haven't been watching for a few years and I'm not sure why I stopped. I was sucked in by the commercials (probably during the Super Bowl) for Heroes vs. Villains and I am loving it. I have to admit, as much as Boston Rob's accent is aggravating, the guy is amazing. He is smaht and great at the challenges and he manages to be loved by his tribemates. I kind of love Russell and was bummed that they won a toolbox after he hid the hatchet from team. Russell, by the way, is missing a tooth or two of his own!
I don't understand why everyone thinks Pavarti (I think there is an H in there somewhere but I have no clue where) is so hot, and did anyone see the skinniest blonde EVER pathetically trying to make a basket after throwing herself pathetically down the slip-n-slide? She needs a damn bite to eat!
Why are there so many "pahk-the-cahs" on Survivor? On this one alone, we have Rob, Tawm, and Coach. I can't even talk about Coach - he is just too ridiculous. And why was everyone mad at James for pushing that old dude off of the sumo wrestling island? That was the game! What was he supposed to do - gently nudge him off? Puleeeeeeez.
Jeff Probst is still hot.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I can't top the title of the last post...
SO....I feel like I need to continue my updates on AI since I have a fan! Is it me, or are there a lot of little boys in this year's competition? And do they all have "comb-forwards"? I don't get the "comb-forward" and no matter how adorable "I'm adorable but I suck at singing even though Simon complimented me this week" is, he is terrible. And even though I am not impressed with either of the black guys thus far, I kind of love them. I think Todrick looks like a drag queen and what more can I say about "I rocks the onesie" that he hasn't already said about himself?!
I still love Andrew Garcia (is that his name?) even though his performance was rough this week and I am just not a fan of the dude with the long, blonde hair. I just don't like boys with long hair... Interestingly, I do like girls with long hair - well, one girl with long hair. The thing about short hair (on girls or guys) is that you can't hide anything about your appearance. If a chick can pull off short hair, she is usually gorgeous (or a lesbian, or a gorgeous lesbian) and if a guy is hiding behind long hair, he usually isn't (gorgeous, he definitely isn't a lesbian).
I was impressed, yet again, by "No, I am not Adam Lambert's brother" and the little churchie country singing dude who looks about 8 years old. I want to hate both of them, but they are both really good. And by far, the best comment of the night (no, nothing about bananas) was Ellen saying something to the effect of, "Underneath that mullet, there is a really good singer!" I LOVE that she is addressing the mullet - for that alone, she is a good judge. Looking forward to the ladies tonight but I can't believe the chick I love has yellow teeth and is named BOWERSOX. It's a travesty for me to root for someone with yellow teeth but hey, what can I do?
As for the other show...WHY WOULD ANYONE DECIDE TO TRAIN WITH BOB?? Year after year after year, psychiatric advice and all, Jillian trains the winner. For God's sake - she turned Helen into the winner! And last night after Michael, who looks like a 60-year old fat woman, stacked his blue team (except for the fact that Bob is the trainer), Jillian managed to train the black team to glory. I am SO happy to see angry Miggy go because the sourpuss face was starting to really aggravate me, but I would have been happier to see Lance go. Why does he suck at weight loss? And, please tell me how Miggy and Michael got to be so close?? What a strange friendship!!! Does anyone think they might have been sleeping together? Is anything more appallingly disgusting than that image?
I think I would sell my first born to be trained (and counseled) by Jillian. Dammit.
I still love Andrew Garcia (is that his name?) even though his performance was rough this week and I am just not a fan of the dude with the long, blonde hair. I just don't like boys with long hair... Interestingly, I do like girls with long hair - well, one girl with long hair. The thing about short hair (on girls or guys) is that you can't hide anything about your appearance. If a chick can pull off short hair, she is usually gorgeous (or a lesbian, or a gorgeous lesbian) and if a guy is hiding behind long hair, he usually isn't (gorgeous, he definitely isn't a lesbian).
I was impressed, yet again, by "No, I am not Adam Lambert's brother" and the little churchie country singing dude who looks about 8 years old. I want to hate both of them, but they are both really good. And by far, the best comment of the night (no, nothing about bananas) was Ellen saying something to the effect of, "Underneath that mullet, there is a really good singer!" I LOVE that she is addressing the mullet - for that alone, she is a good judge. Looking forward to the ladies tonight but I can't believe the chick I love has yellow teeth and is named BOWERSOX. It's a travesty for me to root for someone with yellow teeth but hey, what can I do?
As for the other show...WHY WOULD ANYONE DECIDE TO TRAIN WITH BOB?? Year after year after year, psychiatric advice and all, Jillian trains the winner. For God's sake - she turned Helen into the winner! And last night after Michael, who looks like a 60-year old fat woman, stacked his blue team (except for the fact that Bob is the trainer), Jillian managed to train the black team to glory. I am SO happy to see angry Miggy go because the sourpuss face was starting to really aggravate me, but I would have been happier to see Lance go. Why does he suck at weight loss? And, please tell me how Miggy and Michael got to be so close?? What a strange friendship!!! Does anyone think they might have been sleeping together? Is anything more appallingly disgusting than that image?
I think I would sell my first born to be trained (and counseled) by Jillian. Dammit.
Monday, March 1, 2010
If I were Jake's dick...
Ok - so I couldn't figure out what I was feeling as I watched Jake agonize about Tenley vs Vienna. I sure as hell wasn't rooting for Tenley - what a bore!! And I couldn't figure out why I was so upset about Jake thinking with his dick. And then I realized - I just don't agree with Jake's dick! Not surprising, since I didn't agree with much about perfect, perfect Jake, but in the words of Ashleigh, "Vienna?? Really??"
If I were Jake's dick, I would have picked Gia, or Ashleigh, or maybe even "I fucked a producer", and I know Vienna was putting out and they had great "chImistry", but Vienna is just not that attractive! Tenley is also not too attractive and is booooring, but Vienna is unattractive, white trash.
And I don't have too much more to say except of course Ali is the new bachelorette and while I might be slightly bored at the prospect, I will definitely watch. And I didn't see the whole thing but I did see enough of Jake's family to realize why he is such a weanie. (Normally I wouldn't use a word like weanie, but how perfect is that for Jake)? Anyway, the mom demanding that whoever Jake picks needed to get along with the sister-in-laws was absolutely ridiculous! She just didn't see Vienna getting along with the sister-in-laws and it's the women who need to take care of everything when she and her husband are gone. After that performance, I am glad Jake picked with his dick!!
Is anyone watching Celebrity Fit Club? I am sporadically watching but I caught a little bit tonight and besides the shocking fact that the "hot" Charles in Charge chick is on it, and Rudy Huxtible, I was able to see Sebastian Bach (is that his name?) and his team kick everyone's ass up the hill only to struggle to put up the tent!! I missed most of it but heard him demand that putting up the tent was "the hardest thing he ever did" and the flaming Shear Genius dude talk about the tent he puts up every morning when he wakes up. Gross - more dicks, but this time, a flaming dick! Wait - is that Rudy Huxtible or is it Federline's girlfriend? I really don't know!! I still think Federline is hot - he's no David Silver, but he is hot, even as a chub.
I miss the Olympics.
If I were Jake's dick, I would have picked Gia, or Ashleigh, or maybe even "I fucked a producer", and I know Vienna was putting out and they had great "chImistry", but Vienna is just not that attractive! Tenley is also not too attractive and is booooring, but Vienna is unattractive, white trash.
And I don't have too much more to say except of course Ali is the new bachelorette and while I might be slightly bored at the prospect, I will definitely watch. And I didn't see the whole thing but I did see enough of Jake's family to realize why he is such a weanie. (Normally I wouldn't use a word like weanie, but how perfect is that for Jake)? Anyway, the mom demanding that whoever Jake picks needed to get along with the sister-in-laws was absolutely ridiculous! She just didn't see Vienna getting along with the sister-in-laws and it's the women who need to take care of everything when she and her husband are gone. After that performance, I am glad Jake picked with his dick!!
Is anyone watching Celebrity Fit Club? I am sporadically watching but I caught a little bit tonight and besides the shocking fact that the "hot" Charles in Charge chick is on it, and Rudy Huxtible, I was able to see Sebastian Bach (is that his name?) and his team kick everyone's ass up the hill only to struggle to put up the tent!! I missed most of it but heard him demand that putting up the tent was "the hardest thing he ever did" and the flaming Shear Genius dude talk about the tent he puts up every morning when he wakes up. Gross - more dicks, but this time, a flaming dick! Wait - is that Rudy Huxtible or is it Federline's girlfriend? I really don't know!! I still think Federline is hot - he's no David Silver, but he is hot, even as a chub.
I miss the Olympics.
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