Ok - first of all, I have yet to discuss Top Chef Masters... I CANNOT BELIEVE MARCUS SAMUELSSON WON!! He is the worst. And the logic was ridiculous - he cooked African food because he is trying to be "true to his heritage", so even though it was disgusting, we are going to give him the victory? Of course, SUSUR totally fucked it up with that ridiculous tuna SLASH giant egg-looking thing with toothpicks sticking out of it. Were those toothpicks? Were the toothpicks edible? I just think it is bullshit that Marcus squeaked through the entire competition and then won because he made one good thing and one "true to his heritage" (which, by the way, is Swedish and not African) dish and if he were really Swedish, his name would be MAGNUS and he would be a hot blonde and not an ugly little black dude with a bizarre accent, ugly pants and nasty food!!!
Ok - on to the B-ette. That dude Kasey (who totally spells his name wrong, it should be KAY-SEE) is a freak. And why does he sound like he has a thousand marbles in his mouth? Or cotton? What is that affliction, when people talk like they are incapable of opening their mouths? I think it is worse than "constantly open mouth syndrome" (a la Zach from Little People Big world or Ed from the last bachelorette or Mask, from Mask). He is awful and it is ridiclous that Ali can't see that. I was really glad she got rid of Weatherman until I saw the clip of Weatherman pretending to be a wrestler against the Wrestler and I sort of started to love him. But, Weatherman looks like a rat.
If I were Ali, I would have the following rose ceremony: "Thank you all for staying around. I am clearly going to pick Roberto because he is HOT and kind of sweet. The only reason I am keeping anybody else around is because I can't believe a guy this hot could possibly be into me - I need to confirm he is mine so I don't embarass myself on National TV. He isn't even "too hot to be that hot" like Jake...he is just indisputably hot. As for the rest of you - Weatherman, you are going home because you are short and look like a rat. Drew, you are cute and I like the whole family thing and I feel bad about your mother and I am SIKED that you don't pahk the cah even though you live in Cape Cod, but you just say LIKE way too much! And there is something about you that is extraordinarily awkward. Wrestler - I am keeping you around because the producers say you spice up the show but I can't possibly be with a dude who has 'wet' hair all of the time. Frank - you are Reid from last season - boring and kind of cute and bookwormish with the glasses, but in the end, you will be too boring for me (altough I am sort of boring so you might be perfect for me yet). And you just aren't Roberto - the only thing wrong with Roberto is that his name is Roberto and I can live with that. Kay-See - I am only keeping you around to figure out what the hell is in your mouth...PERIOD. I kind of think you might be gay but it doesn't matter because I am SO not into you. The rest of you - you all sort of look alike. OH - and Chris N (I think?) - where the hell did you come from? I have never seen you before in my life! I guess I should keep you around so I can figure out who the hell you are..."
NOW THAT WOULD BE AN AWESOME EPISODE!!!!
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That WOULD be an incredible episode!!!! I have not been watchng because, well, I don't know why. For some reason I've never watched a B-ette although I watch all the B's. I did catch part of the first episode where the guys all arrived in limos and awkwardly introduced themselves and I recall that she was into Roberto from the get-go. I believe her words were "Ooh! He's CUTE!" as she watched him walk into the house.
Marbles in the mouth is the WORST. I just picture lots of spit rolling around, or a big fat tongue.... ewww.
You've really outdone yourself on this entry- SOOOOO GOOD and accurate!!! Susar was totally robbed on top chef- i loved his food and bad attitude! KC (another alternate and more acceptable spelling) is creepy- reminds me of some of my forensic patients. Although he did seem to display a tad of insight when he actually seemed embarassed to show her the hideous and nonsensical tattoo... I know I'm horrible but when they kept previewing him with the wrist bandage I was secretly hoping for a first suicide attempt on the B-ette. BTW Roberto is way out of Ali's league...I bet she'll pick him and then he'll dump her after the show. While I liked Ali at first on the B (primarily because we shared a hatred of Vienna), I stopped liking her when she left in order to keep her stupid job at facebook...really? wasn't that something you should've thought of and sorted out before you came on the B? lame. and then she totally tried to pull and Ed (or whoever that guy Jillian picked is) and come back with her tail between her legs, but Jake dissed her. That could've been the only acceptable move he made o that show. And finally, are you with me in missing that ridiculous guy Weatherman thought to be "dangerous"? I kind of loved him.
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