OH MY GOD. What a bunch of fucking babies!! First of all, I love the promo, making it look like one of the "brothers" cheated on his wife in Vegas. NOOOOOOO....not them - they went to bed early, ate nothing, drank nothing and then proceeded to lose no weight. Well, at least Maaaaaaahk didn't. And Dan totally screwed them by getting BL of the week - they absolutely would have voted him off in a haaaaht-beat if he wasn't. CRY CRY CRY.
I can't believe how much crying was going on! I just don't want to leave my brother... How old are you? TWO? You are a grown man. Zit tits is 31?? He's YOUNGER than me?? Oh jeez - he's crying again. Why didn't he just vote for Roger and let black decide?
Oh - why didn't they take their shirts off this week? Did somebody notice the zit tits? Just a thought. Later, Maaaaaaahk. I think somebody forgot to tell him it is NOT a Soap Opera.
Um - did anyone tell them that the "Pride" tattoos might be misconstrued as GAY PRIDE? I love that these boys are leaving campus with "pride" tattoos - and only one of them is clearly gay!!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Water Snob
When did it become so difficult to find an "acceptable" bottle of water? When I was a kid, I just used to drink from the water fountain. Now, it's too "tinny". After college, I was Britta. Now, I'm too lazy. I switched almost exclusively to bottled when I moved to DC, which you HAVE to do in DC. Even the boiled water tastes bad. But now...
For some reason, DC doesn't really have Poland Spring, which is definitely the best bottled water. Incidentally, for those of you who think I have nothing good to say about Mass, it is SO Poland Spring and I love that. Plus, you can drink tap in Mass. So, in DC, I'm almost strictly Smart (Smaaaaaht) or Ethos (Starbucks) water with the occasional influx of Deer Park, only IF NECESSARY.
What's annoying is that the Starbucks in the airport doesn't carry Ethos, they are almost strictly Vasa. And Vasa is UNacceptable. Some airports, in a more than acceptable move (especially since I'm generally not paying), are now carrying Smart water. Besides the fact that Smart was invented by a Colgate grad, it just tastes better. And, Ethos is "green" - or at least I think it is from reading the bottle once, a year ago.
I HATE Evian. That's what started the water snobbery. It tastes "thick". Gross. Ever try to drink "no gas" water in Europe? WUH. So, I'm also Perrier or any other "with gas" water I can get my hands on. I tried Fiji, which is expensive, but still pretty gross. Dasani, which isn't really bottled water, is actually pretty good. Zephrillis - WUH.
What started all this? I'm in the airport, thirsty in North Carolina, and all they have is VASA. And I was so discouraged, that I ordered myself a latte instead (iced). Then, when I walked past another store which had Deer Park, I couldn't accept it. I am ONLY Ethos or Smart water today, apparently. And what's even more ridiculous? I drink the tap water at restaurants. Why does that taste ok?
I can't discuss BL because I am SO pissed off that they voted off Paul, who is BY FAR the heaviest black team member. And does his EX-wife have marbles in her mouth or what? I used to be a Brittany "fan" until I saw the smug look on her face when she voted off Paul. Um - you are an IDIOT. You should have voted off Fat Camp who has the most annoying "face" I have ever seen and who has never lost more than 6 lbs. Why would you vote off Paul. Do you WANT to lose to zit tits and his brother, who now weighs LESS than Fat Camp?? Ugh...
For some reason, DC doesn't really have Poland Spring, which is definitely the best bottled water. Incidentally, for those of you who think I have nothing good to say about Mass, it is SO Poland Spring and I love that. Plus, you can drink tap in Mass. So, in DC, I'm almost strictly Smart (Smaaaaaht) or Ethos (Starbucks) water with the occasional influx of Deer Park, only IF NECESSARY.
What's annoying is that the Starbucks in the airport doesn't carry Ethos, they are almost strictly Vasa. And Vasa is UNacceptable. Some airports, in a more than acceptable move (especially since I'm generally not paying), are now carrying Smart water. Besides the fact that Smart was invented by a Colgate grad, it just tastes better. And, Ethos is "green" - or at least I think it is from reading the bottle once, a year ago.
I HATE Evian. That's what started the water snobbery. It tastes "thick". Gross. Ever try to drink "no gas" water in Europe? WUH. So, I'm also Perrier or any other "with gas" water I can get my hands on. I tried Fiji, which is expensive, but still pretty gross. Dasani, which isn't really bottled water, is actually pretty good. Zephrillis - WUH.
What started all this? I'm in the airport, thirsty in North Carolina, and all they have is VASA. And I was so discouraged, that I ordered myself a latte instead (iced). Then, when I walked past another store which had Deer Park, I couldn't accept it. I am ONLY Ethos or Smart water today, apparently. And what's even more ridiculous? I drink the tap water at restaurants. Why does that taste ok?
I can't discuss BL because I am SO pissed off that they voted off Paul, who is BY FAR the heaviest black team member. And does his EX-wife have marbles in her mouth or what? I used to be a Brittany "fan" until I saw the smug look on her face when she voted off Paul. Um - you are an IDIOT. You should have voted off Fat Camp who has the most annoying "face" I have ever seen and who has never lost more than 6 lbs. Why would you vote off Paul. Do you WANT to lose to zit tits and his brother, who now weighs LESS than Fat Camp?? Ugh...
Monday, February 18, 2008
Travelin' again
Is it bad that I go back and read my own blog from time to time? Mostly, I am checking to see if anybody makes comments, but I also have to make sure I am not making any grammatical or spelling errors and maybe, just MAYBE, I crack myself up a little.
I am so tired. I have been sleeping even worse lately. I know, it's hard to believe, but I have been switching medications and since I can't go off of ANYTHING without experiencing the equivalent of heroin withdrawal, I have to take both for a little while. When I take new and old at the same time, I get too "activated" and I really can't sleep. As opposed to before, when I could sleep a couple of hours here and there. Anyway, it SUCKS and I'm exhausted, causing me to do ridiculous things.
First of all, why do scientists have such bad breath? They can chew gum just as well as the rest of the world. And usually, we are leaning over each other in close proximity - CHEW SOME GUM. Bad breath is awful.
So today, I was in the airport, getting ready to fly to NC, and I had a bite to eat at the airport restuarant. As I was eating, I had my computer on (no, not blogging...sorry). I finished up, left the restaurant and boarded the plane. When I got on the plane, I realized I didn't have my computer. SMART. I had left it sitting on the bar at the restaurant. So, I went up to the flight attendant on the tiny plane and told her I had left my computer at the restuarant, could I run out and get it? She looked alarmed and said, "Of course!" So I started sprinting off the plane when I hear, "We can't hold the plane for you!" POLITE. The airport is small - the furthest I possibly could have gone is about 20 feet. The flight is about 14 minutes long, itself and I was already alarmed. I paused, turned back in disgust, and then continued running to the restaurant, leaving all of my stuff on the plane for her to contemplate when she slammed the boarding door in my face.
Of course, none of that happened. I returned to the restaurant to find my computer calmly sitting where I had left it, in between the 2 guys who were sitting beside me when I left. My plate still had not been cleared - maybe they thought I was coming back since I had left my computer there! I grabbed the computer and ran back onto the plane, making it with roughly 4 hours to spare before the door closed. Ok - I'm exaggerating a little but jeez, couldn't the flight attendant have been a little nicer??
I am so tired. I have been sleeping even worse lately. I know, it's hard to believe, but I have been switching medications and since I can't go off of ANYTHING without experiencing the equivalent of heroin withdrawal, I have to take both for a little while. When I take new and old at the same time, I get too "activated" and I really can't sleep. As opposed to before, when I could sleep a couple of hours here and there. Anyway, it SUCKS and I'm exhausted, causing me to do ridiculous things.
First of all, why do scientists have such bad breath? They can chew gum just as well as the rest of the world. And usually, we are leaning over each other in close proximity - CHEW SOME GUM. Bad breath is awful.
So today, I was in the airport, getting ready to fly to NC, and I had a bite to eat at the airport restuarant. As I was eating, I had my computer on (no, not blogging...sorry). I finished up, left the restaurant and boarded the plane. When I got on the plane, I realized I didn't have my computer. SMART. I had left it sitting on the bar at the restaurant. So, I went up to the flight attendant on the tiny plane and told her I had left my computer at the restuarant, could I run out and get it? She looked alarmed and said, "Of course!" So I started sprinting off the plane when I hear, "We can't hold the plane for you!" POLITE. The airport is small - the furthest I possibly could have gone is about 20 feet. The flight is about 14 minutes long, itself and I was already alarmed. I paused, turned back in disgust, and then continued running to the restaurant, leaving all of my stuff on the plane for her to contemplate when she slammed the boarding door in my face.
Of course, none of that happened. I returned to the restaurant to find my computer calmly sitting where I had left it, in between the 2 guys who were sitting beside me when I left. My plate still had not been cleared - maybe they thought I was coming back since I had left my computer there! I grabbed the computer and ran back onto the plane, making it with roughly 4 hours to spare before the door closed. Ok - I'm exaggerating a little but jeez, couldn't the flight attendant have been a little nicer??
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Ready to Re-visit BL
Having Xinaeve back to commenting has encouraged me to get back to active blogging. First of all, Orange mother/son (now son only) are not from Mass - they are SO midwest. And I completely agree about the +3 lbs. It should NOT count against the weigh-in the following week. Ridiculous. I have a few more things to say.
First of all, how is it that Jillian is still kicking Bob's ass when she has the WORST team ever assembled in BL history? Bob SUCKS. And, Bob is an asshole and a sore loser. If Bob were smart, he would have encouraged Dan (motherless son) to team up with Alabama football and get rid of the Masshole brothers. And, I hate to address this but, has anyone noticed that, in addition to carrying his weight SO much worse that his asshole, stress fracture older brother, Maaaahk's younger brother (whose name is escaping me) has ZITS on his TITS. Or, his tube boobs. Even Trent, who weighs about 100 lbs more than zit tits, carries his weight better. WUH.
I can't believe they voted off Trent - he was so cute and BY FAR my favorite and there for all the right reasons. And, I can't believe Maggie (Fat Camp survivor whose hair is way too long) lucked out with immunity. I KNEW she would "pull" a small number because she is the opposite of Trent - she doesn't give a SHIT about losing weight, she's all about the game. Did you see those giant earrings she wore to the weigh-in? They could have been the difference!
As much as I love Jillian, I have to say that I am a little put off by the excessive counseling occuring on this show. You are a TRAINER, not a therapist, for crying out loud. The show is about fat people losing weight - we don't need to hear about their issues. Perhaps they could focus more on how getting fat can cause you to have ZITS on your man TITS instead of how your parents' divorce can lead you "straight to the fridge". I really did not need to see these people having their therapy sessions, either. While I was glad that Jillian finally brought in a professional, it's none of our damn business that bald ex-husband had "sessions" with his dad. It's awful. I'd rather see him cry about his ex-wife's boyfriend sending her kisses.
Finally, can you believe how obnoxious Maaahk and his excessively taped shin was to Sami tonight? Ok - we know the rest of the contestants think he's an asshole (which makes it completely baffling that they didn't vote him off tonight and shows Dan and Alabama's stupidity) but for him to snap at Sami for trying to appropriately host the show?? He is SUCH a Masshole. Although, I do have to give him credit for "pulling" the numbers when he needs them... As opposed to his little brother, you know, ZIT TITS.
First of all, how is it that Jillian is still kicking Bob's ass when she has the WORST team ever assembled in BL history? Bob SUCKS. And, Bob is an asshole and a sore loser. If Bob were smart, he would have encouraged Dan (motherless son) to team up with Alabama football and get rid of the Masshole brothers. And, I hate to address this but, has anyone noticed that, in addition to carrying his weight SO much worse that his asshole, stress fracture older brother, Maaaahk's younger brother (whose name is escaping me) has ZITS on his TITS. Or, his tube boobs. Even Trent, who weighs about 100 lbs more than zit tits, carries his weight better. WUH.
I can't believe they voted off Trent - he was so cute and BY FAR my favorite and there for all the right reasons. And, I can't believe Maggie (Fat Camp survivor whose hair is way too long) lucked out with immunity. I KNEW she would "pull" a small number because she is the opposite of Trent - she doesn't give a SHIT about losing weight, she's all about the game. Did you see those giant earrings she wore to the weigh-in? They could have been the difference!
As much as I love Jillian, I have to say that I am a little put off by the excessive counseling occuring on this show. You are a TRAINER, not a therapist, for crying out loud. The show is about fat people losing weight - we don't need to hear about their issues. Perhaps they could focus more on how getting fat can cause you to have ZITS on your man TITS instead of how your parents' divorce can lead you "straight to the fridge". I really did not need to see these people having their therapy sessions, either. While I was glad that Jillian finally brought in a professional, it's none of our damn business that bald ex-husband had "sessions" with his dad. It's awful. I'd rather see him cry about his ex-wife's boyfriend sending her kisses.
Finally, can you believe how obnoxious Maaahk and his excessively taped shin was to Sami tonight? Ok - we know the rest of the contestants think he's an asshole (which makes it completely baffling that they didn't vote him off tonight and shows Dan and Alabama's stupidity) but for him to snap at Sami for trying to appropriately host the show?? He is SUCH a Masshole. Although, I do have to give him credit for "pulling" the numbers when he needs them... As opposed to his little brother, you know, ZIT TITS.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
OOPS Missed My Flight
It's a shame when I am late for my flights because I don't get to "blog from airport" and there is SO much material in airports. For example, I was behind this guy in the security line who was such a "belly cincher". Now...what is the proper method of pant maintenance for a man with a gut? Over, under or smack in the middle? Over makes him look like he has a "pussy-Joe", under makes him look pregnant. But, in my opinion...right smack in the middle is by FAR the least acceptable. It just leaves nothing to the imagination and it looks so damn uncomfortable!! I am a fan of "below" - sorry, boys, but pregnant is the way to go.
What a day. I am in Atlanta, which is such a hustle-bustle of activity. This airport has way too much hustle-bustle. And angry travelers, but I'll get to that later. This morning, I met with a guy from Africa who is doing research on (shocking!) Malaria. He had roughly 5 teeth. But, he is very nice. On the other hand, he had terrible breath. Oh, and 3 of the 5 teeth were buck. NOT a good combination.
My "big" part of the day was the meeting I had with 2 people who had traveled 3 hours to Atlanta to see an instrument in action before they buy their own (hopefully). They are now in the process of driving to Nashville, where they want to see another instrument. They are driving. I am flying. Polite. But, I missed my flight so it should even out. And, they were two of the most uninteresting people I have ever met - I am thrilled that I won't have to sit in a car wtih them!!
One of the people is this lady whose last name is "Peace-something". I have been calling her "Peace-on-Earth". I also checked out her picture on their website and I thought she had short hair. It turns out that her hair was "up" in the picture I saw and it was just the bangs that I thought were her entire head of hair. Essentially, she is the lunch lady reincarnated. "Business in front, party in the back". In other words, she did not have a good look going...
SO, my flight was at 5:11. I got stuck in traffic and didn't make it to Avis until about 430. But, I was able to check in at 440. Then, I went through security (where I saw "cinch-man") and raced through the airport to make it to my gate. Of course, I had eaten NOTHING since my bagel at 9 this morning so I was pretty hungry. The entire "run", I was debating whether or not to stop for food and risk missing the flight. In the end, the latte won!! When I arrived at the gate, of course the LAST gate in the terminal, I looked up to discover I had been upgraded. Then, I looked down to see that the boarding door had been closed. OOPS! It was within the 10 minute window but clearly they jumped the gun a little and we missed the flight. They gave our (me and the other 2 ANGRY flight-missers) seats away - apparently, Nashville is quite a popular place to go today.
I was ok with the whole situation as Nashville is less than an hour from Atlanta (by plane) but the angry businessmen were NOT ok with the situation. They were PISSED. Both of them were on their phones to Delta, demanding that a "redcoat" be sent to the desk. What the hell is a redcoat? Then, the poor woman who had slammed the door in their faces came back out to face their wrath directly. They GLARED at her nametag and both reported her to the person on the other end of the phone while she stood there, impasssively typing away on the computer (what DO they type, anyway?). Finally, they were rebooked on the flight that was one hour later and then I approached the "redcoat" who was, in fact, a huge black man NOT wearing a red coat. He booked me (not angry) on the same flight and all was well. Until I boarded the flight to find one of the angry men seated next to me. I commented that we only had to wait an hour and he said, "Yeah, but I was in first class on the other flight" to which I replied, "So was I but it was only an hour - how much could you drink in an hour?" to which he replied, "It wasn't about that...my legs don't fit in these seats". PULEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. It's a freakin' hour. ADJUST. Do you think my 10+ surgically repaired knees are comfortable in the seats?? Of course, Vicodin is extremely helpful in such a situation.
I also had another quite enjoyable moment today with my customer who is a Network member. She is not the pregnant Network member, but the "fine line between Southern and Network" variety. Anyway, we started discussing "Peace-on-Earth" and she said to me, "I thought she was family". WUH!! She is SO "family-who-doesn't-admit-to-being-family-so-mentions-her-husband-every-other-word-and-wears-her-hair-in-mullet". Just an aside.
I'm in Nashville now. I definitely deserve overpriced room service in my overpriced hotel!!
What a day. I am in Atlanta, which is such a hustle-bustle of activity. This airport has way too much hustle-bustle. And angry travelers, but I'll get to that later. This morning, I met with a guy from Africa who is doing research on (shocking!) Malaria. He had roughly 5 teeth. But, he is very nice. On the other hand, he had terrible breath. Oh, and 3 of the 5 teeth were buck. NOT a good combination.
My "big" part of the day was the meeting I had with 2 people who had traveled 3 hours to Atlanta to see an instrument in action before they buy their own (hopefully). They are now in the process of driving to Nashville, where they want to see another instrument. They are driving. I am flying. Polite. But, I missed my flight so it should even out. And, they were two of the most uninteresting people I have ever met - I am thrilled that I won't have to sit in a car wtih them!!
One of the people is this lady whose last name is "Peace-something". I have been calling her "Peace-on-Earth". I also checked out her picture on their website and I thought she had short hair. It turns out that her hair was "up" in the picture I saw and it was just the bangs that I thought were her entire head of hair. Essentially, she is the lunch lady reincarnated. "Business in front, party in the back". In other words, she did not have a good look going...
SO, my flight was at 5:11. I got stuck in traffic and didn't make it to Avis until about 430. But, I was able to check in at 440. Then, I went through security (where I saw "cinch-man") and raced through the airport to make it to my gate. Of course, I had eaten NOTHING since my bagel at 9 this morning so I was pretty hungry. The entire "run", I was debating whether or not to stop for food and risk missing the flight. In the end, the latte won!! When I arrived at the gate, of course the LAST gate in the terminal, I looked up to discover I had been upgraded. Then, I looked down to see that the boarding door had been closed. OOPS! It was within the 10 minute window but clearly they jumped the gun a little and we missed the flight. They gave our (me and the other 2 ANGRY flight-missers) seats away - apparently, Nashville is quite a popular place to go today.
I was ok with the whole situation as Nashville is less than an hour from Atlanta (by plane) but the angry businessmen were NOT ok with the situation. They were PISSED. Both of them were on their phones to Delta, demanding that a "redcoat" be sent to the desk. What the hell is a redcoat? Then, the poor woman who had slammed the door in their faces came back out to face their wrath directly. They GLARED at her nametag and both reported her to the person on the other end of the phone while she stood there, impasssively typing away on the computer (what DO they type, anyway?). Finally, they were rebooked on the flight that was one hour later and then I approached the "redcoat" who was, in fact, a huge black man NOT wearing a red coat. He booked me (not angry) on the same flight and all was well. Until I boarded the flight to find one of the angry men seated next to me. I commented that we only had to wait an hour and he said, "Yeah, but I was in first class on the other flight" to which I replied, "So was I but it was only an hour - how much could you drink in an hour?" to which he replied, "It wasn't about that...my legs don't fit in these seats". PULEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. It's a freakin' hour. ADJUST. Do you think my 10+ surgically repaired knees are comfortable in the seats?? Of course, Vicodin is extremely helpful in such a situation.
I also had another quite enjoyable moment today with my customer who is a Network member. She is not the pregnant Network member, but the "fine line between Southern and Network" variety. Anyway, we started discussing "Peace-on-Earth" and she said to me, "I thought she was family". WUH!! She is SO "family-who-doesn't-admit-to-being-family-so-mentions-her-husband-every-other-word-and-wears-her-hair-in-mullet". Just an aside.
I'm in Nashville now. I definitely deserve overpriced room service in my overpriced hotel!!
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