Ok - so I got a lot of flack for shoddy blogging and here I am. Luckily, I have a LOT of material after my bridal shower AND a new episode of Hell's Kitchen.
Bridal showers are RIDICULOUS. A bunch of women pigging out while gaping at the bride (or in this case, brides) as they open gifts. Granted - it's great to be the bride but also a lot of pressure. I learned this weekend that a "commitment shower", which is what we GAYS have, is less pressure on the bride because there are two of us. I learned that alcohol helps quite a lot to get through the shower. And I learned that being watched is much more difficult when you don't have a Powerpoint presentation to hide behind.
I also learned that "wedding Christmas" is awesome. You are never too old to open gifts. NEVER. And, even though we registered for the gifts, we still LOVED opening every one of them.
The best comment at the shower and I SWEAR this is true. One of the "ladies" said to me, "I just farted in somebody's face." My mouth dropped open as I replied, "On purpose?" No, she replied, "It just slipped out." I asked, "Did she know??" "Yes...I said excuse me." I LOVE IT.
Ok - we also had a lot of fun writing some thank you notes. Just a few...
"Thank you so much for the wooden bowl we DIDN'T register for. Oh wait - it's a cheaper version of the one we wanted. Thanks!!"
"Thank you for coming to celebrate with us. I haven't seen you in a while - you look like shit!!" (polite)
"Thank you so much for the wonderful gift. How much did you shrink since the last time I saw you?"
POLITE.
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3 comments:
It may have been uncomfortable, but it was a beautiful shower and you got tons of great loot. Hmmm....I haven't seen you in a while. Am I the one who looks like shit? ALSO, please pass on to J that I can't WAIT to talk to her parents about our friends on Roloff farm.
I think I exhausted every possible witty shower comment I had during and (mostly) after the shower. I had SO much fun hanging out last weekend- in an odd way my life seems so much happier and to make more sense after the quality time together. My only complaint is that you didn't wear the shower outfits that were selected for you- any chance you'll be wearing the pre-selected wedding dresses?
the shower was HILARIOUS. although there wasn't enough alcohol - the shots of champagne mixed with sherbert did not do the trick to ease my morning-after shakiness. plus, after my 6th or 7th refill i started to get looks from the "waitstaff", pre-eyeliner application.
My personal favorite moments were either the non-stop murmured comments of the two ladies on the couch next to chrissy and i, or when susan fine took a look at the photobooth photos, turned to your mother and pointed out my photo for some reason, and your mother said, "oh, that's Karen!" and Susan Fine looked up at me, looked down at the photo, looked back at me, frowned disapprovingly, and announced "she looks DIFFERENT." as if i wasn't even there! Love these women and their straightforward ways.
i will be tuning into the HK second finale...despite the fact that i have watched none of the previous shows. but who cares? i spent a good hour yesterday doing some online reading about the latest "bachelorette" from episode 1 on. It was probably BETTER than watching, and i saved like 7 hours of my life.
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