Friday, February 26, 2010

Figure Skating...

Ok - Once again, I do have to say that I love the Olympics. I'm still upset that Kwan never won her gold medal and Hamilton still claims to be straight (which is ridiculous - what straight guy would nearly wet his pants at the performance of TWO triple axels (axle?) performed by a woman in the sports program)?? What other guy, period? I'm still livid that Kerrigan got clubbed by Tonya Harding and didn't they still let Harding skate? I'm more outraged at that occurence than the fact that Kerrigan's brother might have killed her father...patricide. Hmmmm.

Ok - did anyone watch the skating last night? I had no intention of watching but I LOVE watching the aerials - those guys/girls are NUTS and then I somehow managed to get sucked into the cross country skiing (!) - in my defense, USA was about to go 1-2 (but still, cross country skiing!) and then skating was on afterward and they showed the nervous teenagers, including the rival Japanese and Korean and the poor Canadian whose mother died 2 seconds ago. So...I felt I had to watch!

And...I actually rooted for the Korean (although I did love both Americans). I hate KOREA after watching this "situation", but I love that beautiful, graceful teenage Korean who would have been SHUNNED by her country if she didn't bring home gold. Did anybody really want her to be shunned?? I also was appalled by the Japanese chick who, although landing, in the words of flaming Hamilton, "THE FIRST THREE TRIPLE AXELS PERFORMED BY A FEMALE IN OLYMPIC COMPETITION!!!!!!", got crushed by the Korean chick and could not have been a less gracious loser (SLASH winner of the silver). Here she is on the podium, standing in between, "I'm not going to get shunned" and "My mother died 2 seconds ago so I'm bawling on my bronze" and she couldn't even muster up a smile! Apparently, there is some risk of her also getting shunned since Japan and Korea hate each other but, come on, she LANDED ALL THOSE TRIPLE AXELS, don't shun her!! I still hate the skating judges, but I did get sucked in.

As for AI, I am NOT surprised to see thsoe that went home. I'm siked that 70s mess went home, and I really don't care that the adorable but terrible singer is still around and I still love Andrew Garcia and the girl with the yellow teeth whose teeth are suspiciously not AS yellow but still not much to look at. I haven't decided how I feel about Ellen as a judge but I am certain she should not wear white on white on white!

Ok - Olympics are almost over. How could I forget?? I LOVE that the Canadian chicks hockey team got in trouble for bringing their raucous celebration onto the ice last night!! LOVE IT.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Who would have thought Jake would have the most scandalous season of The Bachelor? Those women are crazy!! I watched, "The Women Tell All" last night - I usually don't watch that excuse for more ratings (a la the Olympic separation), but I just HAD to see the chick who had an affair with the producer (who, by the way, is not too cute). And did anybody else notice how gorgeous these women are? Jake definitely had the most gorgeous cast - I suppose I didn't notice that until now because the 2 remaining women are blatantly the ugliest of the bunch.




I am not a fan of Ali as the next Bachelorette. After last night, besides the chick who slept with an employee, I am throwing my support behind Ashleigh (and not just because of the spelling of her name). Remember her, she is the gorgeous one who basically raped Jake, prompting him to send her home. She then made a comment like, "I'M leaving before Vienna? REALLY?" I LOVE it!! I can't remember why else I absolutely loved her last night - but I think they need a feistier, less boring star of the show!

Switching gears - don't you wish dogs could talk? Ok - perhaps that is more of a factor for me since I work from home and sometimes would like to chat when it's just me and the dogs BUT... What do you think they would say when you walk in the door and they are all tail-wagging (in the case of my dogs, jumping) excitement? What would they say when you walk over to the leashes and they start freaking out at the prospect of a W-A-L-K? Just a thought....

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I'm mad....

I'm not just mad that my fans no longer comment on the blog...I'm just MAD. I don't feel like talking about my anger, I feel like talking about....the Olympics!!

Is there a gayer sport than men's figure skating? And why does being a pair's skater make a guy less gay? Are they all converted hockey players or are they just a bunch of gay religious freaks who get to pretend they aren't gay by skating with a chick but still get to expose themselves (no pun intended) to the rest of the gay figure skating men? I love the fact that being gay allows me to say whatever the hell I want about gay male figure skaters and all the other gays in the world without being "racist"? Is it racist when you are anti-gay? I can talk about the Jews, too - I am such a minority!!

The Olympics make me want to go skiing and learn how to snowboard but it doesn't arouse any part of me that wants to figure skate and/or curl. And I HATE the luge. Aren't they glorified sledders/daredevils? Why is that a sport? Why are the Russians so good at figure skating?

GAY GAY GAY. I recently heard that an actress whose name is escaping me (Anne Hathaway, maybe? One of those Yalie actress chicks - not Hathaway but the one who was in Beautiful Girls and I can't remember her name DAMMIT) left the Catholic church because her brother is gay and she just loves him too much to practice her faith in a church that basically shuns him. I LOVE her. And say what you want about Brangelina (I hate how they are called that - maybe they should be Angelbrad), I love that they refuse to get married because "the gays" can't get married. Fuck all of the politicians who find it important on their agenda to prohibit gay marriage. Find a better issue, assholes!! I deserve to get married and the figure skaters deserve to be OUT and if they want to be gay and go to church, they should be able to do that, too. See....I told you I am MAD. MAD and with a few G&Ts in me :)

U................S..................A.......................

If there are any typos, blame it on the G&T. They should ban Scott Hamilton from announcing the Olympics until he comes out of the damn closet.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

SNOW!!!

I don't understand how it's possible that I lived in CNY and dealt with this kind of snow every day. The only reasons I can think that it's so overwhelming is

A) I have a house with a leaky basement

B) They have 3 plows in VA and in the week of blizzards, have yet to plow our street

C) I have a driveway and have to shovel

D) I can't get drunk and high and pretend it's fun!


I don't know why I chose A-D and not 1-4, but let's just leave it at that. The snow is beautiful and the dogs are ADORABLE in the snow, but I also hate the snow.

One thing the snow has allowed is much television watching so I have a LOT to say. I even got sucked into Survivor, Heroes vs. Villains and I kind of LOVED it. I'm glad "Sugar" is gone because she was ridiculous although I loved that she crossed the finish line without her top in the first challenge and then flipped 2 fingers to the bitch who undid her top. Who would undo her top?? And I don't have all of the names down yet but why the hell is the blonde guy villain wearing various inappropriate and appalling forms of underwear?? They've all been on Survivor before, they all know about the clothing "situation", and some of them chose to wear appropriate clothing. Boston Rob and "hot gravedigger" both have appropriate board shorts. But that dude?? What is he thinking?

And how could they be SO bad at puzzle-doing? I think what I learned today is not that the Heroes picked the wrong people to do the puzzle but, the Heroes are stupid. And the Villains are smart. And even though I find myself rooting for the heroes (for now), they are stupid. And when did Boston Rob become such a genius?

I'm not sure I can venture into all of the other tv although I loved that BL went to Olympic training camp to work out and find it ridiculous that Bob insinuated that he and Jillian are better trainers than the Olympic trainers. Or, that the food they were being fed with all nutrtional information was too confusing for them and they needed the food at the ranch. No wonder they all got so fat!

And I LOVE that the red bitch got voted off, or red-lined off. And it was not lost on me that she was firmly in the BOB camp and loves Bob and blah blah blah but, as usual, Bob the great trainer is not going to be the trainer of the winner. And people that commit to Bob and only Bob end up going home. As much as I was not a fan of Helen last year, she was smart enough to go to Jillian when she had a choice and alas! She won. (Where does alas fit into the ridiculous words/sayings)?

Ok - I have much more tv to get to - Jake having his heart broken for one, but I have a little thing I need to discuss. What is proper etiquette for blowing off a phone call that immediately follows a texting flurry? For example, Jim and Jane are texting back and forth for 30 minutes. Jim decides he doesn't want to type any more and calls Jane. Jane doesn't want to talk to Jim - she wanted to text him! She puts him into voicemail. Should Jim be offended? Is Jane obligated to come up with an excuse like, "I'm in a meeting, can't talk now (BUT I CAN TEXT)". Or, "I'm on a conference call and clearly can text but can't take a call". Or, does she stop texting and pretend at the exact moment he called, she went to the bathroom, or left the room, or hit a dead spot? Does she send Jim to voicemail or does she let it ring a few times to "prove" that she isn't anywhere near her phone even though she was texting 2 seconds ago?

On the flip side, of somebody calls and you don't pick up...don't feel like talking, and then they immediately text you, do you respond? Or do you wait 10 or 20 minutes before responding? (I got sick of Jim and Jane). If you do respond to the text, are you obligated to explain why you didn't answer the phone 2 seconds ago?

I am firmly in the camp of the non-answerer (ok, yes, I am a bit of a non-answerer). If you and I are texting and you want to call me, (other than right after I text you something SHOCKING), you have to ask first. Can I call you? My fingers are tired. I have carpal tunnel and I'd rather talk. I'm driving. You can have many excuses, but give me a choice! And, by the way, if your request is followed by a few minutes of silence before a brilliant excuse, I clearly didn't want to talk. Yes, I am introducing a new rule of texting etiquette, dammit. You can text me, or you can call me, but you can't textcall OR calltext. There is a line...