OOPS Missed My Flight

It's a shame when I am late for my flights because I don't get to "blog from airport" and there is SO much material in airports. For example, I was behind this guy in the security line who was such a "belly cincher". Now...what is the proper method of pant maintenance for a man with a gut? Over, under or smack in the middle? Over makes him look like he has a "pussy-Joe", under makes him look pregnant. But, in my opinion...right smack in the middle is by FAR the least acceptable. It just leaves nothing to the imagination and it looks so damn uncomfortable!! I am a fan of "below" - sorry, boys, but pregnant is the way to go.

What a day. I am in Atlanta, which is such a hustle-bustle of activity. This airport has way too much hustle-bustle. And angry travelers, but I'll get to that later. This morning, I met with a guy from Africa who is doing research on (shocking!) Malaria. He had roughly 5 teeth. But, he is very nice. On the other hand, he had terrible breath. Oh, and 3 of the 5 teeth were buck. NOT a good combination.

My "big" part of the day was the meeting I had with 2 people who had traveled 3 hours to Atlanta to see an instrument in action before they buy their own (hopefully). They are now in the process of driving to Nashville, where they want to see another instrument. They are driving. I am flying. Polite. But, I missed my flight so it should even out. And, they were two of the most uninteresting people I have ever met - I am thrilled that I won't have to sit in a car wtih them!!

One of the people is this lady whose last name is "Peace-something". I have been calling her "Peace-on-Earth". I also checked out her picture on their website and I thought she had short hair. It turns out that her hair was "up" in the picture I saw and it was just the bangs that I thought were her entire head of hair. Essentially, she is the lunch lady reincarnated. "Business in front, party in the back". In other words, she did not have a good look going...

SO, my flight was at 5:11. I got stuck in traffic and didn't make it to Avis until about 430. But, I was able to check in at 440. Then, I went through security (where I saw "cinch-man") and raced through the airport to make it to my gate. Of course, I had eaten NOTHING since my bagel at 9 this morning so I was pretty hungry. The entire "run", I was debating whether or not to stop for food and risk missing the flight. In the end, the latte won!! When I arrived at the gate, of course the LAST gate in the terminal, I looked up to discover I had been upgraded. Then, I looked down to see that the boarding door had been closed. OOPS! It was within the 10 minute window but clearly they jumped the gun a little and we missed the flight. They gave our (me and the other 2 ANGRY flight-missers) seats away - apparently, Nashville is quite a popular place to go today.

I was ok with the whole situation as Nashville is less than an hour from Atlanta (by plane) but the angry businessmen were NOT ok with the situation. They were PISSED. Both of them were on their phones to Delta, demanding that a "redcoat" be sent to the desk. What the hell is a redcoat? Then, the poor woman who had slammed the door in their faces came back out to face their wrath directly. They GLARED at her nametag and both reported her to the person on the other end of the phone while she stood there, impasssively typing away on the computer (what DO they type, anyway?). Finally, they were rebooked on the flight that was one hour later and then I approached the "redcoat" who was, in fact, a huge black man NOT wearing a red coat. He booked me (not angry) on the same flight and all was well. Until I boarded the flight to find one of the angry men seated next to me. I commented that we only had to wait an hour and he said, "Yeah, but I was in first class on the other flight" to which I replied, "So was I but it was only an hour - how much could you drink in an hour?" to which he replied, "It wasn't about that...my legs don't fit in these seats". PULEEEEEEEEEEEEZ. It's a freakin' hour. ADJUST. Do you think my 10+ surgically repaired knees are comfortable in the seats?? Of course, Vicodin is extremely helpful in such a situation.

I also had another quite enjoyable moment today with my customer who is a Network member. She is not the pregnant Network member, but the "fine line between Southern and Network" variety. Anyway, we started discussing "Peace-on-Earth" and she said to me, "I thought she was family". WUH!! She is SO "family-who-doesn't-admit-to-being-family-so-mentions-her-husband-every-other-word-and-wears-her-hair-in-mullet". Just an aside.

I'm in Nashville now. I definitely deserve overpriced room service in my overpriced hotel!!