Jake.....The ANGST

Oy. This guy is ridiculous. What GUY actually says that "so-and-so" is a beautiful woman but I just am not feeling the chemistry so I am going to send her home? I appreciate him sending home the mommy so she could be with her funny-looking (described by Jake as "neat") kid, but keep the rest! I loved Ashleigh, who has a ridiculous spelling of her name, and is GORGEOUS but lost points because she absolutely threw herself at Jake and he wasn't having any of it (because he's gay).

Do you think they are making him keep Vienna on the show for the drama? I can understand why he might not see what the other girls are seeing (yes, I am suggesting he is one of the girls), but when she requested that her "alone time" be last, she should have been slapped! And isn't he the guy who flew to wherever Jillian was to tell her that the country singer dude (Wes?) had a girlfriend? He, of all people, should know that the people living in the house know each other better than the Bahelor/ette.

At this point, I'm thinking it's between Ali and Tenley but the dark horse is the chick he went on the first date with who gets NO airtime. Ella, is it? He should pick her - she is the least like him and might make him a little less annoying, conservative, gay and everything else awful about him. Which is exactly why he won't pick her, because he sucks!

And, when he decided not to give out all of the roses, why was it so hard to find Chris Harrison? Isn't he standing an inch away, waiting to walk out and say, "Jake, ladies, this is the final rose this evening..." I love that he had to be "found" so Jake could get some advice on whether or not to withhold the final rose.

Jake is such a girl!! Ok - so if I were to ask the question, who would you rather...Jake or Jason, it's a no-brainer, right? BUT, let me throw you for a loop. Jake or ED? Much tougher, isn't it??

I am SO gay Jake over gay Ed. But yuk on both counts. Jake would be so fumbly and bumbly. He seems like an eat-your-face kind of a kisser and I bet his penis is small!

Has anybody listened to Jason Castro yet? Why is Terrible my only fan or, at least, my only commenting fan?

I Love Jason Castro

Does anyone remember Jason Castro? He was on Idol a couple of seasons ago, maybe the David/David season? He is a white boy with dredlocks and a cute smile and he doesn't exactly come across as the brightest guy you will ever meet! But, he was sort of adorable and he really won over a lot of people (including Simon) with his rendition of "Over the Rainbow". To be honest, I was NOT a big fan.

However, since AI and the ridiculous top 10/12 tour has ended, JC has released some great music! My favorite is "Let's fall in love again" or something like that and there are a couple more which I love!! I am such a lover these days...

And I do have some new comments about BL - although I don't feel like I know the contestants yet and I DEFINITELY think this "season" is way too soon after last season. I'm wondering (yes, back to the shirt colors) if white is the best color for a BL contestant? I don't even wear white (t-shirts, anyway), and while I am not huge like them, I could certainly stand to lose a few. Or a few dozen. White, Brown...I am SO voting for magenta!

These players are HUGE. It's insane - and what kind of a name is Miggy? (Portugese, I know). I have to admit I am starting to love Jillian the therapist and wonder why my therapist isn't like her. I want my therapist to get in my face and DEMAND that I cry, that crying makes me strong. And then I want her to send in backup (like Bob) when I don't initially respond to her browbeating technique. And then I want her to take me in the pool and "hold" me so I can conquer my fear of water. And to hug me when I am ridiculously sweaty and gross. And to yell at me when I "play the game" and only lose 1 pound when I have immunity. Most of all, I want my therapist to stand on my quads when I am doing wall squats and, of course, let me pull her across the room by a tug-o-war rope. When did therapy become so shoddy??

I am starting to think, at this point, that the huge players have an advantage. If Big White is still losing 10 lbs per week without "putting in the effort", it's because he is so damn fat. And it's not fair to the skinny contestants who can't possibly stand up to that kind of weight loss even though they are doing "the work". There are two BL phrases I hate.... "I pulled a 7". What does that mean? How does pulling equate to weight loss?? Are they talking about pulling Jillian? And, "the work". He isn't doing "the work". I did "the work". I do realize it is hard to work out 6-8 hours a day, although it is significantly less hard when you have no other responsibilities. Actually, it sounds like a pretty good life. But it does not constitute "the work". Or does it?

And I HATE whatnot, although it is not as good/bad as "the whole kit and kaboodle". I also am not a fan of the abuse of "go ahead", which is a major offense of most Food Network chefs. I am going to go ahead and chop the endive. And then I will go ahead and carmelize the onions before I go ahead and taste this delicious meal I just prepared.

Anybody watch the Millionaire Matchmaker? I know I like the show, but I can't decide if I love or hate Patty!

The Situation

Ok - so I knew I loved Jersey Shore but I thought I hated "the situation" (I refuse to capitalize, other than in the title). I LOVE the situation. Yes, he is ugly and annoying and gross - how many times has he had sex in that hot tub?? BUT...I love using the situation in my everyday life. Every time I say, "Do you understand the situation", I crack up. I say it at work, I say it to customers, I say it at home and, without fail, I crack up. So I LOVE the situation.

I love the fact that Snookie (Snooky?) is 4 feet tall, has 4 feet of hair, and is just not bright. I am only being that nice because she got punched in the face (and the situation did not stick up for her, I might add). I love the fact that she met a "farmboy" and he said something about her being a Guido and she slurred, "I'm not a Guido, I'm a Guidette". And she was serious!!!

I love that Ronnie, who looks like somebody hit him over the head with a sledgehammer to make the square body, stole Sam from the situation. I wish she would inform the situation of his ugliness. I love that Vinny hooked up with the situation's sister. I also think Vinny is clearly the hottest guy in the house, but he gets the least air time. Why is that? Do i not recognize appropriate Guido hotness?

So, I was at a work thing today, and I was texting with one of my colleagues about all of the ridiculous sayings my boss has. He uses the word accordingly in every 3rd sentence. It's insane. And, he uses the word etcetera A LOT. Who says etcetera? He does...often. It's bizarre. He'll say something like, "So I was watching that show with Ronnie, the situation, Sam, etcetera, and blah blah blah". An etcetera abuser - ridiculous! Anyway, my colleague reminded me (CRACKED me up) of another phrase my boss often uses. I lost it when I received the text saying the following, "the whole kit and kaboodle". Not only do I love that my boss uses this phrase, I loved seeing it in print! Doesn't it look weird when written? Who says that???

Ok....G'night!

You know what I love???

American Idol. Yes, dammit, I LOVE it. Even though I said I wouldn't watch again if anybody beat Adam, I have recovered. They hit the jackpot with the human interest stories, even if they are in Bawston!!!

I am in LOVE with the girl who has 14 brothers with Down's Syndrome. I am even more in love with her mother for adopting 3 of them so her son could have a companion! What a woman!!

I love the HOT guy (in a much more acceptable and HOT way than Jake, who I missed last night) who had cancer and overcame and while I do not love the fact that he is a "voice coach", he was pretty good and definitely HOT!

I love the girl who grew up basically abused by her parents who did not allow her to listen to "secular music" but has an amazing voice and couldn't handle the prospect of singing in front of someone who cares!

I kind of love Posh Spice?

I love the Asian kid who sang "All By Myself" in a completely unacceptable manner and I sort of love the ANGRY guy who pissed Kara (Cara?) off with his demeanor. Do I love Kara? No. Do I love how pissed off she was at the mean man? Yes. Do I love that the one chick who sort of looked like Goldie kept calling her Paula? YES. Do I love that 25% of the chicks on that show sort of look like Goldie? Of course!!

I think I sort of love Uncle Pyro. OH - and by the way - in my office, or in THE office, they have a Kockenspiel in every office in the building. I mean, a large company went out and bought a million Kockenspiels for literally every single office in the place. I love that!!

I am in shock that I got all carried away in my nerdiness today and ranted and raved to my new boss about all of the ideas I have to advance Uncle Pyro and he looked at me like I am nuts and then told me that he "loves my enthusiasm". I'm not sure if I love my enthusiasm. I'm a geek!! But I sort of love being a geek. Geeks are cool. OH!!! And I love the girl at work named Tamar today (who, when introduced to me, inspired a thought of - there IS another Jew in this company)! I love that she insisted on approaching me to say, and I quote, "By the way, I was just telling so-and-so that you have the most Jewish name EVER. Are you Jewish?" And I replied with, "Yes, Tamar, but I believe the name Tamar might trump mine in Jewie-ness by just a little".

Why have I used the word Jew in every 2010 entry? HMMMMMMM...........

So dammit, Terrible - I have loves!!!

You want to know what I hate?

Well, I hate lots of things. I hate apartment living (thankfully, that's out of my life). I hate listening to my neighbor shower or hearing my neighbor's dog bark or the worst, smelling Indian food in the hallway of the apartment building. I hate when people don't turn off their blinker after they turn (most frequently occurring on the highway). I hate when people leave their carts in the parking lot at the grocery store. (Well, I guess I don't HATE that but, come on...how lazy can you be??) I hate when people play with my crutches and then leave them on the other side of the room. Yes - I realize you don't need them to get back over here, but I actually am using them to walk!! I hate people who protest against same-sex marriage - there are plenty of better things out there that deserve their focus and attention - spend energy there!!

I hate when people leave their dogs outside all day. Don't they realize that even if they can handle the sub-zero temperatures, they are going to bark? And that even those of us who no longer live in Indian apartments can hear the damn barking? I hate when people treat the Jewish (and probably Christian, too) holidays like a fashion show. Aren't we there to pray? Shouldn't we all be in sweatsuits? I actually kind of hate sweatsuits. I don't hate sweat pants and sweat shirts, but I really am not a fan of the matching set.

I have soooo many more hates. I won't even get into my hate of to, too and two mix-ups and people who spell definately. On the other hand, I actually love certain grammatical/spelling mix-ups. For example, I have a colleague who uses the word amendable instead of amenable. I love it! She will say, "I'm not sure if Jacki is amendable to this, but I would like her to come visit this customer in NYC." Love it. I'm also sort of a fan of ain't and I especially like putting an apostrophe in the word ain't, as if that makes it an acceptable word.

Oh my - I am experiencing a "hate" right this second! Although again, like ain't, I am sort of loving it. One of my "colleagues" is giving a presentation on a conference call. The presentation is online. He is having issues with both the presentation and the call - the best part is that someone keeps writing across his presentation with blue marker (love it). He sounds like he is either on a plane, train or in a motor boat. What a disaster! The best part is that his boss is a stickler for process, etc. and I love the fact that she is likely FREAKING OUT right now.

But anyway, back to what I hate. I hate people who have surgery and, of course, have pain after the surgery, but try NOT to take the painkillers. THE PAINKILLERS ARE FOR THE PAIN, YOU IDIOT! They storm around, in pain, and tell you, "Oh...I just don't like the way they make me feel". Really? Like you don't like the fact that they KILL YOUR PAIN?? The only acceptable excuse for such a person is that they are trying to save the painkillers to use for pleasure, perhaps to take with a cocktail or a long plane ride or a "painful" meeting. And these people, they just live their lives with leftover painkillers in their medicine cabinets like some kind of trophy. If you aren't going to take them yourself, even for pain, at least SHARE!!

Seriously, there are so many things to hate about these people. As a person who has dealt with a considerable amount of pain (which has, apparently, made me a bitter hater of all things above and people who don't understand Judaism), I hate when people look at me and demand/claim they do not "need" the painkillers because they make their head fuzzy. I actually had the following conversation with someone. I explained to her that, before they sliced open my throat to fix my neck, I was taking between 6-8 painkillers daily. She told me she could barely handle 1 or 2 when she had some surgery or another for which she tried not to take the painkillers. (I just thought of another acceptable excuse - not taking them because you want to drink heavily. Before I went to Hawaii, I really tried hard to get off the pills so I could enjoy the Classic Mai Tai, which is killer! Not that I couldn't have done both, and I hate people who think you can't drink and take painkillers together, but I can't truly appreciate the buzz from the Mai Tai if I am already feeling a narcotic buzz, you know?) Anyway, this bitch looked at me like I was crazy - like I had a choice about how many I was taking. Seriously, I have always been a fan of the narcotic, but it isn't fun after 1 or 2. I told her that I was in so much pain, I felt like I was going to puke most of the time and the doctor told me to take one every 2 hours until the surgery. And this bitch looked at me and, with a straight face said, "Maybe I just have a higher tolerance for pain". The fact that I didn't jump across the table and strangle her is a testament to my self-control, and maybe to the Vodka/Cran I was consuming at the time. Ugh - what a wench.

So...I hate people who don't take the pills they are prescribed because they think they know better than the doctor. I also hate smarmy people, but that's a whole new entry, because I love the word smarmy. Would my fans be amendable to an entry about smarmy people???

You know what I love about "The Blog"?

You know what I love about "The Blog"? It gives me an excuse to spend time watching a godawful show like The Bachelor because I must blog about it!

I have a few comments about the show....

First of all, does it make sense that Jake is so good-looking that he's ugly? There is something unattractive about the perfect face, chiseled jaw, perfectly placed dimples and perfect body, right? I also am tending to think that somebody that good-looking must have a TERRIBLE personality not to have a girlfriend by now OR....he's actually gay. I am starting to really believe the gay theory, since the one comment he made to almost every girl (besides "I like your hair") was "I love your dress"!!

The other thing I happened to notice is that Jake must be very shallow. I didn't quite catch all of the professions, but I noticed 2 hairdressers, a model, a spokesmodel (whatever that is), an NBA dancer and a nanny. The nanny, by the way, was in her 30s and she is my favorite. But still, a nanny? Well....a non-Swedish nanny?? Doesn't Jake want a smart chick? Or, is Jake so dumb that he can't handle a chick smarter than him? I mean, come on, he had Jilian and Ed to help him pick the women!!!

I still love The Bachelor, but I'm not sure I can stomach perfect Jake for however many weeks this show runs. I sort of miss "More To Love". Too bad Jake sent home the Cambodian chick who told him in Cambodian, "You are welcome to land your plane on my landing strip". SHOCKING that he sent her home!!

Where are my fans???