I'm not just mad that my fans no longer comment on the blog...I'm just MAD. I don't feel like talking about my anger, I feel like talking about....the Olympics!!
Is there a gayer sport than men's figure skating? And why does being a pair's skater make a guy less gay? Are they all converted hockey players or are they just a bunch of gay religious freaks who get to pretend they aren't gay by skating with a chick but still get to expose themselves (no pun intended) to the rest of the gay figure skating men? I love the fact that being gay allows me to say whatever the hell I want about gay male figure skaters and all the other gays in the world without being "racist"? Is it racist when you are anti-gay? I can talk about the Jews, too - I am such a minority!!
The Olympics make me want to go skiing and learn how to snowboard but it doesn't arouse any part of me that wants to figure skate and/or curl. And I HATE the luge. Aren't they glorified sledders/daredevils? Why is that a sport? Why are the Russians so good at figure skating?
GAY GAY GAY. I recently heard that an actress whose name is escaping me (Anne Hathaway, maybe? One of those Yalie actress chicks - not Hathaway but the one who was in Beautiful Girls and I can't remember her name DAMMIT) left the Catholic church because her brother is gay and she just loves him too much to practice her faith in a church that basically shuns him. I LOVE her. And say what you want about Brangelina (I hate how they are called that - maybe they should be Angelbrad), I love that they refuse to get married because "the gays" can't get married. Fuck all of the politicians who find it important on their agenda to prohibit gay marriage. Find a better issue, assholes!! I deserve to get married and the figure skaters deserve to be OUT and if they want to be gay and go to church, they should be able to do that, too. See....I told you I am MAD. MAD and with a few G&Ts in me :)
U................S..................A.......................
If there are any typos, blame it on the G&T. They should ban Scott Hamilton from announcing the Olympics until he comes out of the damn closet.
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5 comments:
I refuse to watch the men's skating. It's so wrong on so many levels. pairs, fine. women's, fine. men's, so NOT fine.
You are more than welcome to come skiing/boarding with us any weekend.
I LOVE anne hathaway for the same reason (and yes, it was her)
AND GO CANADA!!! (AND USA!!!)
oh and Scott hamilton is the worst announcer ever.
Fan.commenting.here. Don't be mad. Remember we did that awful skit at camp "don't worry, be happy?" Ugh, that sucked.
I love the olympics and I think it's totally ok to be a dude - hetero or not- and skate the night away. Let the wind blow through their hair and let their outfit gather around their sack. Who gives a shit. And (yes I'm starting a sentence with AND) bobsled, luge, skeleton is some HARD SHEEEYAT. My friend is a former bobsled olympian and she is an incredible athlete. SO THERE!
I am a terrible American because I just don't give a hoot about the Olympics. I think it was when they did the splitsies of Winter and Summer in such an obvious attempt to milk more money for advertising and endorsements. And whenever I tune in, it's ALWAYS the curling.
Meredith is right - some of the magic went out of the Olympics when they split that sh*t up. Now it's just like they're on all the time (ok, ok, every two years) instead of the big build-up. Question: who wrote the Olympics song? Dun...dun...da-dun-dun-dun-dun? Is that the song for EVERY country? Or just America? Or just NBC?
Ilyce is right that they're still good athletes (and Leah and I tried luge once, or at least I did, and it was HARD), but at the same time it is ridiculous! And all of them come in within 1 millionth of a second of one another - don't they kind of all deserve a medal just for being really fast sledders? And what would they be like on a real sled hill? Would they be scared since they're not contained in a chute? I went to one this weekend and it was scary!
I love the men's skating. So dramatic! I love the mulleted and paranoid Russian with the giant nose (did anyone see the bit when he's driving around talking about his "enemies" (the other skaters) with english subtitles even though he's talking english? Hilarious! And I have a little, ok big, crush on Johnny Weir even though he's absolutely flaming, actually because he's absolutely flaming, and proud of it. He's the exact opposite of Hamilton, who's closeted, bland, and a wuss. Weir's kind of a badass, in his weird sort of way. Plus, he has really nice skin, and an awesome haircut.
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