You know what I love???

American Idol. Yes, dammit, I LOVE it. Even though I said I wouldn't watch again if anybody beat Adam, I have recovered. They hit the jackpot with the human interest stories, even if they are in Bawston!!!

I am in LOVE with the girl who has 14 brothers with Down's Syndrome. I am even more in love with her mother for adopting 3 of them so her son could have a companion! What a woman!!

I love the HOT guy (in a much more acceptable and HOT way than Jake, who I missed last night) who had cancer and overcame and while I do not love the fact that he is a "voice coach", he was pretty good and definitely HOT!

I love the girl who grew up basically abused by her parents who did not allow her to listen to "secular music" but has an amazing voice and couldn't handle the prospect of singing in front of someone who cares!

I kind of love Posh Spice?

I love the Asian kid who sang "All By Myself" in a completely unacceptable manner and I sort of love the ANGRY guy who pissed Kara (Cara?) off with his demeanor. Do I love Kara? No. Do I love how pissed off she was at the mean man? Yes. Do I love that the one chick who sort of looked like Goldie kept calling her Paula? YES. Do I love that 25% of the chicks on that show sort of look like Goldie? Of course!!

I think I sort of love Uncle Pyro. OH - and by the way - in my office, or in THE office, they have a Kockenspiel in every office in the building. I mean, a large company went out and bought a million Kockenspiels for literally every single office in the place. I love that!!

I am in shock that I got all carried away in my nerdiness today and ranted and raved to my new boss about all of the ideas I have to advance Uncle Pyro and he looked at me like I am nuts and then told me that he "loves my enthusiasm". I'm not sure if I love my enthusiasm. I'm a geek!! But I sort of love being a geek. Geeks are cool. OH!!! And I love the girl at work named Tamar today (who, when introduced to me, inspired a thought of - there IS another Jew in this company)! I love that she insisted on approaching me to say, and I quote, "By the way, I was just telling so-and-so that you have the most Jewish name EVER. Are you Jewish?" And I replied with, "Yes, Tamar, but I believe the name Tamar might trump mine in Jewie-ness by just a little".

Why have I used the word Jew in every 2010 entry? HMMMMMMM...........

So dammit, Terrible - I have loves!!!

You want to know what I hate?

Well, I hate lots of things. I hate apartment living (thankfully, that's out of my life). I hate listening to my neighbor shower or hearing my neighbor's dog bark or the worst, smelling Indian food in the hallway of the apartment building. I hate when people don't turn off their blinker after they turn (most frequently occurring on the highway). I hate when people leave their carts in the parking lot at the grocery store. (Well, I guess I don't HATE that but, come on...how lazy can you be??) I hate when people play with my crutches and then leave them on the other side of the room. Yes - I realize you don't need them to get back over here, but I actually am using them to walk!! I hate people who protest against same-sex marriage - there are plenty of better things out there that deserve their focus and attention - spend energy there!!

I hate when people leave their dogs outside all day. Don't they realize that even if they can handle the sub-zero temperatures, they are going to bark? And that even those of us who no longer live in Indian apartments can hear the damn barking? I hate when people treat the Jewish (and probably Christian, too) holidays like a fashion show. Aren't we there to pray? Shouldn't we all be in sweatsuits? I actually kind of hate sweatsuits. I don't hate sweat pants and sweat shirts, but I really am not a fan of the matching set.

I have soooo many more hates. I won't even get into my hate of to, too and two mix-ups and people who spell definately. On the other hand, I actually love certain grammatical/spelling mix-ups. For example, I have a colleague who uses the word amendable instead of amenable. I love it! She will say, "I'm not sure if Jacki is amendable to this, but I would like her to come visit this customer in NYC." Love it. I'm also sort of a fan of ain't and I especially like putting an apostrophe in the word ain't, as if that makes it an acceptable word.

Oh my - I am experiencing a "hate" right this second! Although again, like ain't, I am sort of loving it. One of my "colleagues" is giving a presentation on a conference call. The presentation is online. He is having issues with both the presentation and the call - the best part is that someone keeps writing across his presentation with blue marker (love it). He sounds like he is either on a plane, train or in a motor boat. What a disaster! The best part is that his boss is a stickler for process, etc. and I love the fact that she is likely FREAKING OUT right now.

But anyway, back to what I hate. I hate people who have surgery and, of course, have pain after the surgery, but try NOT to take the painkillers. THE PAINKILLERS ARE FOR THE PAIN, YOU IDIOT! They storm around, in pain, and tell you, "Oh...I just don't like the way they make me feel". Really? Like you don't like the fact that they KILL YOUR PAIN?? The only acceptable excuse for such a person is that they are trying to save the painkillers to use for pleasure, perhaps to take with a cocktail or a long plane ride or a "painful" meeting. And these people, they just live their lives with leftover painkillers in their medicine cabinets like some kind of trophy. If you aren't going to take them yourself, even for pain, at least SHARE!!

Seriously, there are so many things to hate about these people. As a person who has dealt with a considerable amount of pain (which has, apparently, made me a bitter hater of all things above and people who don't understand Judaism), I hate when people look at me and demand/claim they do not "need" the painkillers because they make their head fuzzy. I actually had the following conversation with someone. I explained to her that, before they sliced open my throat to fix my neck, I was taking between 6-8 painkillers daily. She told me she could barely handle 1 or 2 when she had some surgery or another for which she tried not to take the painkillers. (I just thought of another acceptable excuse - not taking them because you want to drink heavily. Before I went to Hawaii, I really tried hard to get off the pills so I could enjoy the Classic Mai Tai, which is killer! Not that I couldn't have done both, and I hate people who think you can't drink and take painkillers together, but I can't truly appreciate the buzz from the Mai Tai if I am already feeling a narcotic buzz, you know?) Anyway, this bitch looked at me like I was crazy - like I had a choice about how many I was taking. Seriously, I have always been a fan of the narcotic, but it isn't fun after 1 or 2. I told her that I was in so much pain, I felt like I was going to puke most of the time and the doctor told me to take one every 2 hours until the surgery. And this bitch looked at me and, with a straight face said, "Maybe I just have a higher tolerance for pain". The fact that I didn't jump across the table and strangle her is a testament to my self-control, and maybe to the Vodka/Cran I was consuming at the time. Ugh - what a wench.

So...I hate people who don't take the pills they are prescribed because they think they know better than the doctor. I also hate smarmy people, but that's a whole new entry, because I love the word smarmy. Would my fans be amendable to an entry about smarmy people???

You know what I love about "The Blog"?

You know what I love about "The Blog"? It gives me an excuse to spend time watching a godawful show like The Bachelor because I must blog about it!

I have a few comments about the show....

First of all, does it make sense that Jake is so good-looking that he's ugly? There is something unattractive about the perfect face, chiseled jaw, perfectly placed dimples and perfect body, right? I also am tending to think that somebody that good-looking must have a TERRIBLE personality not to have a girlfriend by now OR....he's actually gay. I am starting to really believe the gay theory, since the one comment he made to almost every girl (besides "I like your hair") was "I love your dress"!!

The other thing I happened to notice is that Jake must be very shallow. I didn't quite catch all of the professions, but I noticed 2 hairdressers, a model, a spokesmodel (whatever that is), an NBA dancer and a nanny. The nanny, by the way, was in her 30s and she is my favorite. But still, a nanny? Well....a non-Swedish nanny?? Doesn't Jake want a smart chick? Or, is Jake so dumb that he can't handle a chick smarter than him? I mean, come on, he had Jilian and Ed to help him pick the women!!!

I still love The Bachelor, but I'm not sure I can stomach perfect Jake for however many weeks this show runs. I sort of miss "More To Love". Too bad Jake sent home the Cambodian chick who told him in Cambodian, "You are welcome to land your plane on my landing strip". SHOCKING that he sent her home!!

Where are my fans???

Sorry if you ain't a sports fan but...

First of all, I'm glad that the entire world (Ok, country - nobody in the rest of the world watches AMERICAN football) had to see the Redskins play. As residents of the DC metro area, we have to watch the Skins every week. And they SUCK. Last night, they sucked on National television. They have so many things not going for them, not the least of which is that their quarterback doesn't "live up". He definitely does not qualify as a "DC HB".

But, what is upsetting me today is the Yanks. My Yanks. First of all, I don't understand why they need to make 9000 changes to their roster when they won the World Series last year. They promptly got rid of Matsui because they "want to get younger". Ok - I can understand that but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have won it without him. But this latest move today, trading away Melky, is not a good omen. And the reason? Melky is "heart and soul".

A few years ago (ok, maybe 10 years ago), I played on a softball team and we were good. We didn't have all of the best players and yes, it was slow pitch softball, but we were good!! We won our little league and qualified for a tournament. When it came time for the tourney to start, the "coach" called every good softball player he knew, and they invaded our roster. The thing that killed me was when he benched his own brother! Now...he wasn't the best player on the team, but he was "heart and soul". Needless to say, we promptly lost all of our games on the first day and we didn't have any fun.

Now, this is what worries me about them getting rid of Melky. First of all, Robinson Cano is not going to be happy about losing his boyfriend! Who doesn't love watching them scream at each other in Spanish when something good happens? And Melky is adorable. He's not HOT, and he's not a superstar, but he is "heart and soul" on the Yanks, and I'm afraid they might have walked into a chemistry issue. And come on...no matter how well Vazquez(?) pitched in 2009, is it smart to bring back the guy who lost game 7 to the Sawx a few years ago? I'm nervous.

Now, I don't want to disappoint any non-baseball fans, which is the majority of my readers SO...did anyone watch "Sing Off"? I got sucked in last night and I have to admit, I sort of loved it. I didn't love Nick Lachey being reduced to Sing-Off host, or the Tufts version of the Colgate 13 almost winning a recording contract, but I did enjoy the singing. And I totally was rooting for "Nota", the group from Puerto Rico. It was funny - growing up outside of Hartford, there were a good number of Puerto Ricans going to the Hartford public schools. As we got older, it became unacceptable to use the term "Puerto Rican" to describe all Hispanics. It's sort of like how our parents call all Asians "Orientals", which is totally unacceptable. I digress but how can I not mention my dad at a restaurant with my brother, ordering sushi. He politely looked up at the waitress and asked, "Is the sushi made by an Oriental?" My brother was mortified. I think it is hilarious!! Anyway, I was slightly uncomfortable unabashedly rooting for the Puerto Ricans but heck - they were from Puerto Rico! It's actually very similar to the way I am uncomfortable calling my customers Chinese - I often refer to them as "from China" Chinese, so as to avoid confusion.

I am really looking forward to AI - it has been forever since Adam didn't win. I will say that Adam is perhaps the only artist whose album I would buy. Yes - ALBUM - I love his voice. And where the hell is Kris Allen? I think he's hanging out with Taylor gray hair can't remember his last name. Do you think Taylor would have had the same results as Danny if he were to color his hair? I definitely think he would NOT look better as gray. Grey? What's the difference? Is it just the difference between a color and Meredith Grey, or is there a color grey? If there is a color grey, and it is different from gray, they should use it on the Biggest Loser.

My deepest and sincerest apologies about the mushroom misunderstanding. And the Lithgow thing, although I did realize that the giant alien chick WAS on ER as a head nurse for a while, no? I'm bummed because there are NO food shows on. For a while, we had Top Chef, Top Chef Masters AND Hell's Kitchen and now I am reduced to looking forward to Chopped, which really isn't that good, but at least it's a cooking competition!

Ok - happy holidays to all!! Which is worse - (a question for the jews) - somebody wishing you a Merry Christmas or someone catching themselves and saying Happy Hannukah instead? It's like me wishing a Christian Shana Tovah, I mean OOPS - Happy Halloween!! I hate when people try to turn Hannukah into a Jewish Christmas. Are you getting a Hannukah bush this year? NO - there is no such thing!! Is Hannukah Harry coming to give presents this year? NO - there is no such thing! It's ok that jews don't celebrate Christmas - the best thing you can do - say Happy New Year and give us some Christmas presents wrapped in blue paper. Beacause...even though we don't celebrate Christmas, everyone likes presents!! I'm not bitter.

GO BOYS!!!!!

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO COMMENTS!!!!

Ok - where do I begin? We had finales of BL, Top Chef, Dexter AND Glee.

Let's start with Glee, (which you all know I hate). BUT...how could I hate a show that used the following 2 comments to describe Shue, Shoe, Shew's (?) hair??

1. What happened to the guy with the Geri curl (to the OCD replacement "coach" at Sectionals)?
2. You need to work on finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian!!


So much irony in this one, considering she is SUCH a lesbian on Glee AND in real life and
even played one on the L Word.

Actually, these 2 comments have made me start liking the show, I think. I am very happy that FINNnow knows he did not get QUINN pregnant by coming in a hot tub. And yes, you are right - Fat Black might not be the best leading character, but she belted out AND I AM TELLING YOU pretty well, didn't she? I am also very happy (and slightly appalled), that they made the deaf Glee team bad at singing. I can't imagine how they could have pulled that off any other way...

Oooookkkkk - Top Chef. I think I just need to re-iterate a conversation I recently had with "Terrible". I will do it in a tribute to Kara Diwhatever since American Idol is coming up. Were the brothers and Kevin (and maybe Jennifer) the best chefs on the show? Yes. Would I like to eat at Michael's restaurant? Well - yes, if I wanted to eat food that LOOKS like mushrooms but isn't mushrooms. Would I want to eat at Kevin's restaurant? YES - for food that is "simple but delicious". Did Kevin's hair look TERRIBLE after the hiatus? YES. Would I eat at Brian's restaurant? I'm not sure but certainly not sardines. And, does it make sense to serve a course in honor of your mother that contains a food your mother has never eaten? Hmmmmm... Would I eat at Jennifer's restaurant? Yes, but only sauces. I would order bread and dip it into every sauce she makes. Would Brian have won if he had made everything himself and put Jen on sauces? Hell yes! (maybe also no sardines). Ok - I do like the show quite a bit...

BL - We are all glad Danny won and we are still NOT glad that DanIEL is dating Rebecca, who looked ridiculous at the finale but, unlike Tracy, Tracey, Tracie (?), is a healthy weight with muscles, etc., and not too skinny. I hate when they get TOO skinny. How long do we think she will stay with Daniel?

Can we please address the BL proposal? Disregarding everything else, that guy (Antoine, was it?) is HOT. Why does black transition from fat to thin so much better than white? Did you see the arms on that guy? HOT! And the proposal was adorable - I think Sami even wiped a tear or two off.

What I will not miss -

Shay "NEEDING TO BE HERE". Ok, we get it, you are the heaviest contestant ever and you had a terrible life but you have a cute husband and cute kids (unlike another contestant who lost her entire family in a car accident). And when I say cute, I mean, fat black "cute", not HOT like Antoine.

Liz pining after Danny or the brown shirts. I'm glad her husband was at the finale. Maybe their problem wasn't the fact that she "takes care of everyone else and doesn't take care of herself", but that she needed to lose a few (polite). Or maybe she needs to move someplace less remote! Oy - did you see that place? Most of all, BL needs to do away with the brown shirts - it's not working for any of them. I spend at least 25% of my BL watching time trying to figure out a new shirt color for the show. Is maroon too close to red? Could they use Baby Blue or Navy Blue? Maybe we could go with Teal? Anything but Brown!!

Amanda thanking the public for voting her on to the show. Yes - you turned into a pretty face once you lost the weight (but the calves....). Does she really think she "earned" America's vote? The only reason she lasted so long on the show was that she was NO threat to Rudy and Danny. I think even Shay was a bigger threat than Amanda. I will give her credit for not dating any of the single BL men, though. Were there any left after Daniel? Maybe if the minister (who looks like a woman) had lasted longer and not left because Shay "needed to be there", Amanda could have gone after him? And America voting between Liz and Amanda - seriously, did it matter which one was up against Danny and Rudy? It was probably the most insignificant vote since Mike vs his father. Oh wait - that was last year!!

Ok - this has been a bit of an exhausting post but does anyone watch Dexter? I love Dexter. I am very upset about Rita, although I now understand why she was in Saw V and I am VERY happy that Lithgow is dead, even if he was not on ER. I mean really - is there a difference between Lithgow and Alan Alda? Was Lithgow on that Alien show with the giant woman? What was that called? I hated that show!!

Does anyone watch and/or love Tabatha??

What? You don't believe I'm back??

I guess I need to put in a few posts before my faithful readers will believe I am back!!

Ok - I'm not sure how many of you are football fans but I have a few questions (go Yanks!!). OOPS! I digress. I realize that these guys might not be the classiest fellows out there, but can we please address some of the unacceptable blowing off of appearance? It's not fair, really - football, (besides maybe hockey) is really the only sport where these guys can hide behind a helmet. Most of these guys take great care of their bodies - why not let it extend to the face? And in the case of some of the unfortunate (Jerry Rice, anyone named Manning), I understand that they can't help the face they might have been dealt at birth, but what about some of the other things that these guys CAN fix?

I applaud the players who are wearing adult braces (like Brett Favre, who I also love for his Vicodin addiction). It looks ridiculous for a little while, but is SO worth it in the long run. I love the players who just "live up" - T.O. - say what you will about him, he is HOT and he has a great body. DeMarcus Ware - he totally lives up! So why am I writing all of this today? I feel the need to write, not just because of the bad teeth or, even worse, YELLOW teeth, but because of Drew Brees (is that how you spell his name?) I am very upset about the mole (?), monstrosity on his face. Can't he get it removed?? He is on an undefeated team now and is getting much more camera time, and he needs to consider the female, football-watching public. Drew - when you take your helmet off, we expect to see that you have made every possible effort to look good! REMOVE THE MONSTROSTIY.

On another note entirely, although I might consider using his services if the disregard for mole maintenance continues, does anyone watch Dexter? I love it!! I am SO not a fan of his 12 pound sister although I love her for going black (and for her name) but hate her again for going BACK TO OLD. That is just SO unrealistic. I love the fact that I feel bad for a murderer who accidentally murdered an innocent man. I don't have any feelings for the innocent man, but I really want to forgive Dex for killing the wrong guy! I mean, he has a baby and he's exhausted and he's tracking creepy Lithgow, who is just awful in every role he has ever played (even hated him on ER, for crying out loud).

Alright - will keep trying to be faithful to the blog...

Where have I been?

Oh my - I almost missed an entire season of BL and I DID miss an entire season of HK. Let me just say - I think the best man won. The guy was AMAZING. I can't remember his name but the fact that he managed to pull that shit off with a cast on his arm and what appeared to be excruciating pain was fabulous. And if they bring "Bigguns" back next season, he better lose some weight.

I'm not naming any names, but somebody in my household (and it's not Herbie, Bailey or me) is in LOVE with Glee. I hate it. Ok, maybe I don't hate it. But am I the only one who thinks fat black (I believe her name is Mercedes) has a better voice than Rachel? And that it's RIDICULOUS that Finn thinks he got what's her name pregnant by coming in a jacuzzi? Come ON!!! I do sort of love the gym teacher/cheerleading coach, and I am 90% sure she made an appearance as Julia Childs' sister in Julie and Julia, which might have been one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while!!

I'm typing this from an airplane, by the way. Yep - I have internet IN THE AIR. I love it!!! I have a cold and I'm that awful person who is torturing the poor guy sitting next to me with my sniffles. I might as well lick his face for all of the germs I am giving him.

Tiger's wife totally beat the shit out of him, didn't she? I sort of love it - not very Swedish of her, if she did.

But let's discuss BL, since it's what we all love. I hate Rudy. And I like Danny better with gray hair. And Amanda is gorgeous, but have you seen her CALVES??? Cankle doesn't even begin to discuss the size of that poor girl's lower legs. But...at least she has a pretty face!! I am beyond appalled that Amanda's pretty friend (whose name is escaping me, Rebecca?) is dating Daniel. Yep - it's true, they are in love. Corky Thatcher has found a life partner...for now. It's NUTS!!!

Can we please discuss the poor woman whose whole family died in the car crash? How amazing is she? How did anyone ever vote her off? I can't remember her name, either, but every time I saw her on TV (Abby!), I could only think of that poor woman. As everyone else is blubbering about their problems, she is thinking, "At least your family is ALIVE..." LOVED her.

I think I have run out of interesting things to say - awful!! I am going to blame my cold and the fact that I have been flying for 9000 hours to get to Texas for the 9000th time this year. GO YANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!