Figure Skating...

Ok - Once again, I do have to say that I love the Olympics. I'm still upset that Kwan never won her gold medal and Hamilton still claims to be straight (which is ridiculous - what straight guy would nearly wet his pants at the performance of TWO triple axels (axle?) performed by a woman in the sports program)?? What other guy, period? I'm still livid that Kerrigan got clubbed by Tonya Harding and didn't they still let Harding skate? I'm more outraged at that occurence than the fact that Kerrigan's brother might have killed her father...patricide. Hmmmm.

Ok - did anyone watch the skating last night? I had no intention of watching but I LOVE watching the aerials - those guys/girls are NUTS and then I somehow managed to get sucked into the cross country skiing (!) - in my defense, USA was about to go 1-2 (but still, cross country skiing!) and then skating was on afterward and they showed the nervous teenagers, including the rival Japanese and Korean and the poor Canadian whose mother died 2 seconds ago. So...I felt I had to watch!

And...I actually rooted for the Korean (although I did love both Americans). I hate KOREA after watching this "situation", but I love that beautiful, graceful teenage Korean who would have been SHUNNED by her country if she didn't bring home gold. Did anybody really want her to be shunned?? I also was appalled by the Japanese chick who, although landing, in the words of flaming Hamilton, "THE FIRST THREE TRIPLE AXELS PERFORMED BY A FEMALE IN OLYMPIC COMPETITION!!!!!!", got crushed by the Korean chick and could not have been a less gracious loser (SLASH winner of the silver). Here she is on the podium, standing in between, "I'm not going to get shunned" and "My mother died 2 seconds ago so I'm bawling on my bronze" and she couldn't even muster up a smile! Apparently, there is some risk of her also getting shunned since Japan and Korea hate each other but, come on, she LANDED ALL THOSE TRIPLE AXELS, don't shun her!! I still hate the skating judges, but I did get sucked in.

As for AI, I am NOT surprised to see thsoe that went home. I'm siked that 70s mess went home, and I really don't care that the adorable but terrible singer is still around and I still love Andrew Garcia and the girl with the yellow teeth whose teeth are suspiciously not AS yellow but still not much to look at. I haven't decided how I feel about Ellen as a judge but I am certain she should not wear white on white on white!

Ok - Olympics are almost over. How could I forget?? I LOVE that the Canadian chicks hockey team got in trouble for bringing their raucous celebration onto the ice last night!! LOVE IT.

Who would have thought Jake would have the most scandalous season of The Bachelor? Those women are crazy!! I watched, "The Women Tell All" last night - I usually don't watch that excuse for more ratings (a la the Olympic separation), but I just HAD to see the chick who had an affair with the producer (who, by the way, is not too cute). And did anybody else notice how gorgeous these women are? Jake definitely had the most gorgeous cast - I suppose I didn't notice that until now because the 2 remaining women are blatantly the ugliest of the bunch.




I am not a fan of Ali as the next Bachelorette. After last night, besides the chick who slept with an employee, I am throwing my support behind Ashleigh (and not just because of the spelling of her name). Remember her, she is the gorgeous one who basically raped Jake, prompting him to send her home. She then made a comment like, "I'M leaving before Vienna? REALLY?" I LOVE it!! I can't remember why else I absolutely loved her last night - but I think they need a feistier, less boring star of the show!

Switching gears - don't you wish dogs could talk? Ok - perhaps that is more of a factor for me since I work from home and sometimes would like to chat when it's just me and the dogs BUT... What do you think they would say when you walk in the door and they are all tail-wagging (in the case of my dogs, jumping) excitement? What would they say when you walk over to the leashes and they start freaking out at the prospect of a W-A-L-K? Just a thought....

I'm mad....

I'm not just mad that my fans no longer comment on the blog...I'm just MAD. I don't feel like talking about my anger, I feel like talking about....the Olympics!!

Is there a gayer sport than men's figure skating? And why does being a pair's skater make a guy less gay? Are they all converted hockey players or are they just a bunch of gay religious freaks who get to pretend they aren't gay by skating with a chick but still get to expose themselves (no pun intended) to the rest of the gay figure skating men? I love the fact that being gay allows me to say whatever the hell I want about gay male figure skaters and all the other gays in the world without being "racist"? Is it racist when you are anti-gay? I can talk about the Jews, too - I am such a minority!!

The Olympics make me want to go skiing and learn how to snowboard but it doesn't arouse any part of me that wants to figure skate and/or curl. And I HATE the luge. Aren't they glorified sledders/daredevils? Why is that a sport? Why are the Russians so good at figure skating?

GAY GAY GAY. I recently heard that an actress whose name is escaping me (Anne Hathaway, maybe? One of those Yalie actress chicks - not Hathaway but the one who was in Beautiful Girls and I can't remember her name DAMMIT) left the Catholic church because her brother is gay and she just loves him too much to practice her faith in a church that basically shuns him. I LOVE her. And say what you want about Brangelina (I hate how they are called that - maybe they should be Angelbrad), I love that they refuse to get married because "the gays" can't get married. Fuck all of the politicians who find it important on their agenda to prohibit gay marriage. Find a better issue, assholes!! I deserve to get married and the figure skaters deserve to be OUT and if they want to be gay and go to church, they should be able to do that, too. See....I told you I am MAD. MAD and with a few G&Ts in me :)

U................S..................A.......................

If there are any typos, blame it on the G&T. They should ban Scott Hamilton from announcing the Olympics until he comes out of the damn closet.

SNOW!!!

I don't understand how it's possible that I lived in CNY and dealt with this kind of snow every day. The only reasons I can think that it's so overwhelming is

A) I have a house with a leaky basement

B) They have 3 plows in VA and in the week of blizzards, have yet to plow our street

C) I have a driveway and have to shovel

D) I can't get drunk and high and pretend it's fun!


I don't know why I chose A-D and not 1-4, but let's just leave it at that. The snow is beautiful and the dogs are ADORABLE in the snow, but I also hate the snow.

One thing the snow has allowed is much television watching so I have a LOT to say. I even got sucked into Survivor, Heroes vs. Villains and I kind of LOVED it. I'm glad "Sugar" is gone because she was ridiculous although I loved that she crossed the finish line without her top in the first challenge and then flipped 2 fingers to the bitch who undid her top. Who would undo her top?? And I don't have all of the names down yet but why the hell is the blonde guy villain wearing various inappropriate and appalling forms of underwear?? They've all been on Survivor before, they all know about the clothing "situation", and some of them chose to wear appropriate clothing. Boston Rob and "hot gravedigger" both have appropriate board shorts. But that dude?? What is he thinking?

And how could they be SO bad at puzzle-doing? I think what I learned today is not that the Heroes picked the wrong people to do the puzzle but, the Heroes are stupid. And the Villains are smart. And even though I find myself rooting for the heroes (for now), they are stupid. And when did Boston Rob become such a genius?

I'm not sure I can venture into all of the other tv although I loved that BL went to Olympic training camp to work out and find it ridiculous that Bob insinuated that he and Jillian are better trainers than the Olympic trainers. Or, that the food they were being fed with all nutrtional information was too confusing for them and they needed the food at the ranch. No wonder they all got so fat!

And I LOVE that the red bitch got voted off, or red-lined off. And it was not lost on me that she was firmly in the BOB camp and loves Bob and blah blah blah but, as usual, Bob the great trainer is not going to be the trainer of the winner. And people that commit to Bob and only Bob end up going home. As much as I was not a fan of Helen last year, she was smart enough to go to Jillian when she had a choice and alas! She won. (Where does alas fit into the ridiculous words/sayings)?

Ok - I have much more tv to get to - Jake having his heart broken for one, but I have a little thing I need to discuss. What is proper etiquette for blowing off a phone call that immediately follows a texting flurry? For example, Jim and Jane are texting back and forth for 30 minutes. Jim decides he doesn't want to type any more and calls Jane. Jane doesn't want to talk to Jim - she wanted to text him! She puts him into voicemail. Should Jim be offended? Is Jane obligated to come up with an excuse like, "I'm in a meeting, can't talk now (BUT I CAN TEXT)". Or, "I'm on a conference call and clearly can text but can't take a call". Or, does she stop texting and pretend at the exact moment he called, she went to the bathroom, or left the room, or hit a dead spot? Does she send Jim to voicemail or does she let it ring a few times to "prove" that she isn't anywhere near her phone even though she was texting 2 seconds ago?

On the flip side, of somebody calls and you don't pick up...don't feel like talking, and then they immediately text you, do you respond? Or do you wait 10 or 20 minutes before responding? (I got sick of Jim and Jane). If you do respond to the text, are you obligated to explain why you didn't answer the phone 2 seconds ago?

I am firmly in the camp of the non-answerer (ok, yes, I am a bit of a non-answerer). If you and I are texting and you want to call me, (other than right after I text you something SHOCKING), you have to ask first. Can I call you? My fingers are tired. I have carpal tunnel and I'd rather talk. I'm driving. You can have many excuses, but give me a choice! And, by the way, if your request is followed by a few minutes of silence before a brilliant excuse, I clearly didn't want to talk. Yes, I am introducing a new rule of texting etiquette, dammit. You can text me, or you can call me, but you can't textcall OR calltext. There is a line...

Jake.....The ANGST

Oy. This guy is ridiculous. What GUY actually says that "so-and-so" is a beautiful woman but I just am not feeling the chemistry so I am going to send her home? I appreciate him sending home the mommy so she could be with her funny-looking (described by Jake as "neat") kid, but keep the rest! I loved Ashleigh, who has a ridiculous spelling of her name, and is GORGEOUS but lost points because she absolutely threw herself at Jake and he wasn't having any of it (because he's gay).

Do you think they are making him keep Vienna on the show for the drama? I can understand why he might not see what the other girls are seeing (yes, I am suggesting he is one of the girls), but when she requested that her "alone time" be last, she should have been slapped! And isn't he the guy who flew to wherever Jillian was to tell her that the country singer dude (Wes?) had a girlfriend? He, of all people, should know that the people living in the house know each other better than the Bahelor/ette.

At this point, I'm thinking it's between Ali and Tenley but the dark horse is the chick he went on the first date with who gets NO airtime. Ella, is it? He should pick her - she is the least like him and might make him a little less annoying, conservative, gay and everything else awful about him. Which is exactly why he won't pick her, because he sucks!

And, when he decided not to give out all of the roses, why was it so hard to find Chris Harrison? Isn't he standing an inch away, waiting to walk out and say, "Jake, ladies, this is the final rose this evening..." I love that he had to be "found" so Jake could get some advice on whether or not to withhold the final rose.

Jake is such a girl!! Ok - so if I were to ask the question, who would you rather...Jake or Jason, it's a no-brainer, right? BUT, let me throw you for a loop. Jake or ED? Much tougher, isn't it??

I am SO gay Jake over gay Ed. But yuk on both counts. Jake would be so fumbly and bumbly. He seems like an eat-your-face kind of a kisser and I bet his penis is small!

Has anybody listened to Jason Castro yet? Why is Terrible my only fan or, at least, my only commenting fan?

I Love Jason Castro

Does anyone remember Jason Castro? He was on Idol a couple of seasons ago, maybe the David/David season? He is a white boy with dredlocks and a cute smile and he doesn't exactly come across as the brightest guy you will ever meet! But, he was sort of adorable and he really won over a lot of people (including Simon) with his rendition of "Over the Rainbow". To be honest, I was NOT a big fan.

However, since AI and the ridiculous top 10/12 tour has ended, JC has released some great music! My favorite is "Let's fall in love again" or something like that and there are a couple more which I love!! I am such a lover these days...

And I do have some new comments about BL - although I don't feel like I know the contestants yet and I DEFINITELY think this "season" is way too soon after last season. I'm wondering (yes, back to the shirt colors) if white is the best color for a BL contestant? I don't even wear white (t-shirts, anyway), and while I am not huge like them, I could certainly stand to lose a few. Or a few dozen. White, Brown...I am SO voting for magenta!

These players are HUGE. It's insane - and what kind of a name is Miggy? (Portugese, I know). I have to admit I am starting to love Jillian the therapist and wonder why my therapist isn't like her. I want my therapist to get in my face and DEMAND that I cry, that crying makes me strong. And then I want her to send in backup (like Bob) when I don't initially respond to her browbeating technique. And then I want her to take me in the pool and "hold" me so I can conquer my fear of water. And to hug me when I am ridiculously sweaty and gross. And to yell at me when I "play the game" and only lose 1 pound when I have immunity. Most of all, I want my therapist to stand on my quads when I am doing wall squats and, of course, let me pull her across the room by a tug-o-war rope. When did therapy become so shoddy??

I am starting to think, at this point, that the huge players have an advantage. If Big White is still losing 10 lbs per week without "putting in the effort", it's because he is so damn fat. And it's not fair to the skinny contestants who can't possibly stand up to that kind of weight loss even though they are doing "the work". There are two BL phrases I hate.... "I pulled a 7". What does that mean? How does pulling equate to weight loss?? Are they talking about pulling Jillian? And, "the work". He isn't doing "the work". I did "the work". I do realize it is hard to work out 6-8 hours a day, although it is significantly less hard when you have no other responsibilities. Actually, it sounds like a pretty good life. But it does not constitute "the work". Or does it?

And I HATE whatnot, although it is not as good/bad as "the whole kit and kaboodle". I also am not a fan of the abuse of "go ahead", which is a major offense of most Food Network chefs. I am going to go ahead and chop the endive. And then I will go ahead and carmelize the onions before I go ahead and taste this delicious meal I just prepared.

Anybody watch the Millionaire Matchmaker? I know I like the show, but I can't decide if I love or hate Patty!

The Situation

Ok - so I knew I loved Jersey Shore but I thought I hated "the situation" (I refuse to capitalize, other than in the title). I LOVE the situation. Yes, he is ugly and annoying and gross - how many times has he had sex in that hot tub?? BUT...I love using the situation in my everyday life. Every time I say, "Do you understand the situation", I crack up. I say it at work, I say it to customers, I say it at home and, without fail, I crack up. So I LOVE the situation.

I love the fact that Snookie (Snooky?) is 4 feet tall, has 4 feet of hair, and is just not bright. I am only being that nice because she got punched in the face (and the situation did not stick up for her, I might add). I love the fact that she met a "farmboy" and he said something about her being a Guido and she slurred, "I'm not a Guido, I'm a Guidette". And she was serious!!!

I love that Ronnie, who looks like somebody hit him over the head with a sledgehammer to make the square body, stole Sam from the situation. I wish she would inform the situation of his ugliness. I love that Vinny hooked up with the situation's sister. I also think Vinny is clearly the hottest guy in the house, but he gets the least air time. Why is that? Do i not recognize appropriate Guido hotness?

So, I was at a work thing today, and I was texting with one of my colleagues about all of the ridiculous sayings my boss has. He uses the word accordingly in every 3rd sentence. It's insane. And, he uses the word etcetera A LOT. Who says etcetera? He does...often. It's bizarre. He'll say something like, "So I was watching that show with Ronnie, the situation, Sam, etcetera, and blah blah blah". An etcetera abuser - ridiculous! Anyway, my colleague reminded me (CRACKED me up) of another phrase my boss often uses. I lost it when I received the text saying the following, "the whole kit and kaboodle". Not only do I love that my boss uses this phrase, I loved seeing it in print! Doesn't it look weird when written? Who says that???

Ok....G'night!