What a day. And still, I can't sleep. My job is absolutely ridiculous. Today, I went to John's Hopkins and met with people from the Eye Institute. (First I met with a lady who went to Bawston Cawledge and we commisserated about the ridiculosity of the Mass fans...) Anyway, I was shoved into a room the size of my left pinky toenail with 3 other people. One was a man with VERY yellow teeth. And a woman who looked like my hypnotist from spa. And another young one for whom I have no description. Let me explain how small this room was - the yellow-toothed man constantly had to get up and leave the office because he is so important. Each time he had to leave, both I and my chair had to wheel ourselves out of the room so he could get out. It was ridiculous. And I was hot.
SO, what are "eye" people like? WELL, the other night, J couldn't find her contact lens....in her eye. It is so gross to those of us who don't put those things in our eyes! She found it the next morning...in her eye. And removed it. Needless to say, her eye has been bothering her for a few days. So, upon hearing I was going to the Eye Institute, she asked me to pick her up an eye. I chuckled but related the story to "hypno-look-alike" on our way down in the elevator. What can I say - I felt a kinship! Anyway, she laughed and then, while exiting the elevator informed me, "Well, I DID remove 3 of them on Tuesday. See ya!!" DISGUSTING. APPALLING.
After this exhausting, hot, frustrating encounter, I went to meet up with my buddy from the spa. I found out that her real name is, "I'm-76-but-I-don't-look-a-day-over-50". I stand corrected!! Her daughter also joined us - I never properly nicknamed her but seeing her in real life made her nickname quite clear. I have been accused of being short-legged and all-torso but this lady is SO torso. So, with my apologies for not bestowing a proper nickname on a spa buddy, I will refer to the daughter as "the torso". Is that even how you spell torso?
We had a blast - the nice thing about hanging out NOT at spa was the fact that we could drink! Even better, my friend (it takes too long to write the nickname) insisted on driving. She is single so I asked her if she uses, "I drive at night" as a pickup line. I went on to tell her that I heard it is a huge pickup line at shiva to men who actually outlive their wives. She responded with, "Are you kidding me? The widows are lined up at shiva with their noodle casseroles waiting to snatch up the eligible bachelor!!" Hysterical. Happily, I did get to see a picture of her late husband and he was HOT. He was worthy...I was worried about that!! We did have a nice time reminiscing about Terrible - as TERRIBLE as she was, she has provided much entertainment. And spa-goers beware, Terrible booked next year's stay for Dec 1 - Dec 9 - meaning that you should either DEFINITELY stay away during those dates or DEFINITELY go during those dates, just to experience the Terrible-ness.
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Is your left pinky toenail smaller than your right? Just wondering because my right one's smaller. And, you'll be glad to know, I've marked my calendar for Dec 1-9th. I DEFINITELY want to experience terrible. And I love that you're in the loop as to terrible's spa booking habits! But if those dates don't work for everyone I'll settle for another date but ONLY if "terrible" (OUR terrible, not the original terrible) comes. I feel like I can't go to CR without a terrible there.
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