What is the deal with Christmas parties?? Oh - I'm sorry...Holiday parties. We went to two parties last night - total opposite ends of the spectrum, both ridiculous, both SUCKED. I'm sorry but when we have a party, we have good booze, good drinks, good music and fun things to do. OH - and people are nice!!
So - we went to the first party, which we had heard about in the past as being the "it" Christmas party in Arlington. Don't ask how why we were invited - we are more "it" than you know!! Oh my God - this party SUCKED. First of all, the food sucked with the exception of the sushi which was mostly gone by the time we had arrived. AND, some woman had planted herself by the sushi tray, steadily eating as much as she could before the "help" could replenish the trays. Yes, there was "help". Which is ridiculous but necessary since there were 9000 people walking around the house, eating and drinking everything in sight. We fit in more with the help than the people. And, none of the people spoke to us! Granted, we didn't know anyone but aren't you supposed to reach out at parties, especially when somebody clearly doesn't know anyone there?? Little did they know, we were fresh off of a Canyon Ranch vacation....SO it. The booze was free-flowing, which was nice, but not as much fun when you are sitting in the corner. SO...we left, and headed off to the gay-boy party in DC.
You would think a gay party in DC would be fun but, well, not for women! First of all, what is the deal with Christmas parties and quiche? Kind of ironic at the gay boy party, since "real men don't eat quiche" but believe me, these boys don't eat ANYTHING. Of course, nobody talked to us at this party, either, with us being 2 of 5 women at the party and clearly having nothing to offer the boys at this particular party. The poeple watching was good, at least. I am SO glad I am not a gay boy. They must have SO much pressure to stay thin - everyone at this party was at least 10 lbs. underweight (except me). Nobody at this party had any intention of eating the quiche or anything else but the great irony was, all they had to eat at this party was cookies, brownies and quiche. Did I mention how gross quiche is?? Which left a lot of cookies and brownies for us to eat! But the poor gay boys - in addition to the fact that they all have to weigh between 80-90 lbs, they also have to attend parties with "teaser" cookies and brownies everywhere you turn. I guess the good news is, once you have reached the target weight of 80 lbs, you can wear whatever you want, whether it be a full suit, "cream" corduroys with a cream sweater over a poofy tie, or jeans and a tight t-shirt. No dresses, though I bet they all would have looked better in one than me!! Ugh - I thought the only thing I hated about Christmas was constant playing of Christmas music on my favorite "soft-listening" stations.
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4 comments:
I rest my case that you should definitely go into stand-up comedy- that post was TOO funny! I also hate that my fav soft listening stations are exclusively Christmas music starting BEFOFRE thanksgiving (you know you're old when 1) you have favorite soft listening stations and 2) changes in their programming disturbs you!
PS- why am I the only one commenting...c'mon friends!
I wish at least the parties that prohibited my decent on DC were fun. Soft listening stations? Really?
ok so i've registered to leave "posts" which was harder than it sounds because interpreting the word in the word verification section was impossible. anyway, MY gym is located in the "Queen Village" area of Philly - enough said. I am SO the fattest person there, which may explain why I make a shoddy appearance there maybe 1 every two weeks just before it closes when it's all empty and I can catch "The Hills" while elliptical-ing (slowly).
The difference between all of you and I, is that my kids DEMAND to hear the Christmas music on the radio, and since installing XM in my car they now demand XM Kids as well. If I have to hear Jingle Bells one more time I may kill Rudolph.
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