I'm not sure when I developed "a face" but over the past few years, people constantly ask me if I have a sister in the area. ALL of the time. I don't think I have a face and I've never seen these people, myself, but apparently, I have "a face". Yesterday, I was in the grocery store and this woman was looking at me - as if I were the weird one when her daughter was dragging around a purple piece of cloth at the end of the string like it was a dog. But anyway, we were both chuckling as a woman walked past us with a full "holiday dress" on. By "holiday dress", I mean a red, Santa-material (I have no idea what that is) dress with a white border, complete with a Santa hat. Strange thing to wear to the grocery store 5 days before Christmas...
ANYWAY, now that we had broken the ice, she felt perfectly comfortable asking me if I had a sister in the area. I started to laugh and said, no, "I have a face." Which most people don't get but if they do, it's a treat for both of us. She proceeded to tell me I was a dead ringer for Kah-ren Chase, or something. Not Karen, mind you, but Kah-ren. The only Kah-ren I know is black so I'm pretty sure it isn't her. I reiterated that I do not have a sister in the area but, in fact, have 3 brothers out of the area who look nothing like me. Then, I made her slightly uncomfortable by telling her that I also do not look like either one of my parents and that maybe I AM related to Kah-ren but was switched at birth :)
Do I have "a face"? I always thought people with faces either have a protruding chin, a pig nose or a huge forehead. Or, some sort of defining feature (of course, I only notice the unattractive features). Maybe it's the dimples and/or the forehead crinkles?
Frankly, I prefer to be told I look like Ellen Barkin. Once, somebody told me I looked like Helen Hunt but he wasn't the brightest bulb and he was saying it because he thought I had "movie star hair". But, I'll take that. Maybe it's the hook nose...
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You could actually have a twin out there- did you see that Dateline? And don't forget- you've definitely gotten Trisha Yearwood before (ok, from me, when you looked EXACTLY like a poster of her in some random bar we were at...remember?). Anyways, last night I randomly was accused of being a face too- these 3 people approached and asked ME who I look exactly like- I told them I've gotten Jodie Foster and Drew Barrymore before, albeit very infrequently, and they just looked at each other, conferred quietly, and then shook their heads and continued to stare at with puzzled expressions...polite...not awkward. Then I tried to explain to them that they were accusing me of "being a face"...but the concept of being a face eluded these middle aged geniuses- so I cut my losses and headed straight to the bar for another drink.
at owen's terrible work holiday party this year, an awful girl who had reluctantly responded "i like your.... pants" to my "i like your dress" compliment the previous year marched up to me and accusingly said, "you dyed your hair!" i responded, "nope. never dyed it in my life." she said, "well, SOMETHING'S different." and then proceeded to stare at me, frowning, for about 12 minutes while normal conversation continued around us. it was freaking me out, so i finally looked straight at her and said, "look. I haven't had time to go to the gym recently. so i've probably put on a few pounds since you last saw me." then i puffed up my cheeks, exhaled, and smiled sweetly at her before turning on my heel to return to the bar.
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